The Way

Thursday, April 29, 2010

This week went by quite well, even though its only thursday now (:
I went for my first math ASP for two weeks and i must say i find it extremely useful. The fact that the class size is about 5 - 10 people and the fact that they dont anyhow assign lousy teachers to this thing makes it all the more enriching. I find myself doing extraordinary things during math ASP, partly because they give really good summarised notes and partly because being surrounded by people with around the same level of math competence really is a confidence booster. i shall not pon ASP anymore (:

smile people (:

tuesday was ballsssss. but since when has tuesday not been balls? i lent my gc to iqbal because he had a math lecture test. but i forgot that i had physics practical mock SPA that afternoon. During the SPA, i fixed teh circuit right the first time, but the reading was wayy off. like how your supposed to get zero reading and instead, the galvanometer hits the limit and gives no reading.my teacher came and we both tried all sorts of things to fix this. we changed the batt, changed the wire, changed the resistors. everything. but still cannot. in the end she figured that there must be a losoe wire somewhere and left me. i fiddled with the damn thing until i got it right, only to sneeze and drop the delicate piece of wiring. i had to redo it. and i did. and that left me with 30 minutes to get readings, plot the graph, manipulate the formula, find the values, write my observations and calculate uncertainty. adding to the fact that i had no calculator, the calculations i had to made were, well, complex. i had to find the cross sectional area of the wire. using mental sums. i had to divide wierd numbers like 20/7, then use that value to use to divide another wierd value like 0.884 by it.i was quite proud that i did manage to finish the gross table. but i had little else to do.

so for my observation, i wrote "There were no anomalous readings as i did not plot a graph," instead of the usual "There were no anomalous readings as all the points lie close to the line of best fit." i drew a cow at the space provided for calculation of uncertainty.i wonder what the teacher will do to me. but that was fun (: i just hope my REAL SPA doesnt end up like that.

wednesday was quite fulfilling. literally. there was a truckload of doo at teh amphi. well not a truckload but it sure was a helllotoffood. me being my retard self filled a whole container with mashed potato and gravy. and brought it home for snack later. IT WAS DAMN NICE. i didnt have to eat dinner and breakfast and lunch the next day.

and today i watched a very funny drama practice session XD ashraf was at his kesian-and-at-the-same-time-kental self (:

~~~~~when life gives you lemons, you squeeze them to make lemon juice. when life gives you balls, squeeze em till you cry. (for the unsharp mind, please do not actually do it. it hurts. trust me~~~~~

ohwell. i could do with more weeks like these :]

Husaini @ 5:42 AM

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I think my blogposts are going to shrink from now on. Partly because i am no longer capable of coherent thought (so many unnecessary things running in out of my mind). Partly because i am a lazy person to begin with. And partly because i would feel less guilty about not studying if i werent on the computer blogging.

Anyway this past week has been...quite a week.Nothing spectacular but something did whoosh past. Its like not actually seeing a breathtaking dragon, but you did feel it fly past, leaving you awestruck/panicked for a moment. And again i learn that i really should start learning some lessons from an earlier post.

Dont put all your eggs in one freaking basket

aaand

Learn from past incidents to not experience...it. Again.

Its about time really. because this just aint healthy.

on a lighter note, this week has been not productive. at all. i dont know why, i just dont feel like studying. not the kind where you are lazy (though i am) and then you feel like it would be too troublesome to study. its more like i cant bring myself to do so. i somehow cant. not just mentally, physically as well.

DAMMIT. ineedhelpbutimtoofckeduptoask.

Husaini @ 7:27 AM

Sunday, April 18, 2010

i miss my old self. i dont know why i just do. if you didnt already know, i hated my ri life solely because of horrible studies. but i like how i was carefree. i like the lack of responsibilities i used to have. but it guess thats the past. nows not the past anymore. its the present. and as much as i want time to go back, i know it cant. so ill just keep on living like theres a reason to.

damn this sucks.

Husaini @ 8:29 AM

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

There really is alot i have to learn. about everything.

My last visit to the counsellor helped me learn a little bit more about myself, though i think i would rather not have learnt it. after 4 weeks of seeing me, evaluating my actions and what not, she concluded the final meeting by saying that i am a loner and that i need to seek more help. for my own good. that kindof hit me by surprise, but the more i think about it, the more it seems true yknow?

I realised that there is a difference between actually having friends and knowing people. Very different. yesterday and today, i sat in the canteen and looked around. true i know many people. heck i think i know almost everyone at least by name. but the fact that i was close to none of them really hit me. its like "omg husaini how long have you been living in that illusion that everyones youre friend?" at the end of the day, i think there are only a few people i can really call friends and that mere fact contribute to me being a loner.

I also prefer to sit by my lonesome. apparently. but what most people dont realise is that im actually waiting for someone to come sit with me so at least id have someone near me. this shows how uninitiated i am and also how i end up being alone most of the time. though im really lucky to have the same few friends who always stick with me, they cant always be there.

And one last thing which was kindof new to me which the counsellor pointed out was that i have trust issues. i told this to rashidi and he was like "yeah what, you do have trust issues." and i dont know how many other people have noticed that. except myself. maybe i do. but i dont know what i have to hide or why i have to hide things. maybe my subconcious mind knows precisely that and makes me have trust issues to hide stuff. but what? i have no idea.

This will probably sound a little more trivial than the stuff before, but i really cant make eye contact and talk to someone at the same time. ive known this for quite awhile. since sec 2 actually, but i cant fix it. i dont know the cause. i dont know why i havent changed. i dont know alot of things.

Haiz this week kindof sucked, somehow. I just got to let it all out, some of the stuff thats bugging me.

And screw chem. another U and i swear i will tear the paper into four pieces.

Husaini @ 6:36 AM

Saturday, April 10, 2010

This is going to sound like something ive mentioned before. Or maybe not. Maybe ive told this to pinut. But anyway, i think i harbour secret hopes of one day taking over the world. Thats right. The WORLD. THE world. THE WORLD. Not in a business sense or by outsmarting the planet in trivial issues like food shortage and such, but by sheer evilness. Like in those cartoons where the bad guy has this legion of followers and he has this unrivalled weapon of mass destruction. Or simply weapons of mass fear since none of us actually knows if the weapon works, cos if it does, there wouldnt be a world left to take over.

I would be holding this weapon, presumeably a gun, a death ray which can shoot out beams of heat so hot that it defies logic as to why the gun doesnt melt. I would be in this headquarter so high up that, using the laws of physics which apparently doesnt apply to evil kings of the world, a single gust of wind should topple me. I would have my favourite meal served with the snap of my fingers, which isnt all that convenient since i cant snap my fingers properly. But being evil king of the world, i can blame it on one of my 6 billion plus servants and have him/her/them executed using that illogical death ray gun.

I would not need a whip for i have my gun. Go figure. Seems likethe gun is the source of my power. Nobody dares to steal it for fear that if they get caught, they will die in liquid state.

Now what if that little fantasy of mine (shit man i actually sometimes daydream of this kind of shit) suddenly obeyed the laws of physics? I wouldnt have a headquarter, leaving me a homeless king of the world. My gun would melt when i shoot it, melting my hand in the process, making my vulnerable to all the people i have hurt. Or, my gun cant melt and hence, the gun would be more effective as a club (seeing as for the gun to be that hardy, it has to be heavy and realistically, i shouldnt be able to get proper aim with it). But everyone knows that a one man show with a melee weapon against the world will only have one ending: me winning.
Nah thats impossible, again. Hence, my empire falls, and the new age of man (why is it always the new age of MAN, not woman?) arises from the ashes. Andi wake up/snap out of it, feeling a little disappointed.

Im turning 18 this year. I cant believe i actually still imagine these things in my spare time.

I NEED TO GROW UP.

Husaini @ 8:53 AM

about

Ahmad Husaini
02/05/1992
Raffles Rugby 05-08, Pwnage09, 10S06F
I like sports, though nothing in particular

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