The Way

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

God help me i lost my GC again. looks like 7 more weeks (in addition to the 7 i have left now, not including this week). that leaves me with not money till after my birthday. wheee...

Husaini @ 4:20 AM

Sunday, February 21, 2010

this week wasnt as useless as i thought it was. i learnt a few very important lessons.

1) dont make the same, stupid mistake twice. i must be an idiot to do it again. so this time ill just shut up till the time's right.

2) people are not like books. you simply cant read them. you can srsly get totally misled if you do, so dont.

3) tutorials are only useful if you prepare in advance (took me long enough to figure this one out, but i did). or else you'd just be left blur in class and feeling like shit cos you dont understand a single thing the teacher said.

4) lectures are not meant for sleeping. night time is when youre supposed to do that. instead, i found myself sometimes dozing of in lectures and desperately trying to fill up my lecture notes by myself in the middle of the night. not good.

5) expect the unexpected. cliched? then it probably applies to everything in life. the only way to counter this would be to expect the worse. that way, any unexpected thing would turn out to be nice and anything bad that happened would already have been expected.

6) of course, prepare for the expected. no use expecting if you dont do anything about it.

7) dont assume the world spins around you, or that the world spins around any one particualr person. thats just stupid.

8) find out how strong a basket is before filling it with your precious eggs.

hmm, things happened and made me write that. i really hate talking about them cos it makes me feel like crap. but thats about as far as ill go.

Husaini @ 3:55 AM

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Send someone to love me

I need to rest in arms

Keep me safe from harm

In pouring rain

Give me endless summer

Lord I fear the cold

Feel I'm getting old

Before my time

As my soul heals the shame

I will grow through this pain

Lord I'm doing all I can

To be a better man

i feel like such a bear now. a bear on a low lying (vv strong) branch from a tree with my heavy arms hanging by the side and my eyes are barely open. it feels like every part of my body is a heavy bear part, and then when someone (presumeably my brother) walks past, id take a heavy and lazy swipe at him and he would fall GEDEBAK. and it would feel good. heh. okay fine, bears dont do that, but id do it if i were a bear anyway.

i just feel lazy these days. not lazy like "i dont want to do work id rather lepak" but lazy like "i want to do work but i dont know if i should." what a stupid question OF COURSE I SHOULD. but do we really do what we all SHOULD do? probably not. its just been a rather emotionless few days. i feel like i dont FEEL anything. like this happens. okay. next?

sometimes i wish i could be just like any other normal kid, who feels normally, who does things normally. but im not. clearly. (eh my MnM, the valentines gift one, one of the little nuts came out in the shape of a heart! it was so cute hahaha but i ate it nonetheless). sometimes i think i have a gift for food heh. like i know what would taste nice together and what would not. which prompted me to try my own recipe for breakfast. i put spread butter on two slices of bread, put cheese on one of them and put semi crushed keropok (not the fish one, the white-ish one) in the other and atethem together. and it turned out real good somehow XD too bad i ran out of keropok.

and today was wasted. i planned to study after running with halim, but we ended up playing a fierce game of nerf-gun-war. SYIOK seh the little gun can shoot with so much power. i played and played till almost asar :\ which left me with no time to study. dammit, no more nerfs, husaini.

"true friends can grow seperately without growing apart"

i have no idea who saidthat, and i saw it somewhere (maybe someones pm or even blog but i cant remember heh) and it stuck with me like bubbletea pearl on school uniform. its so meaningful and thinking about that always makes my day. well, part of it at least. it gives me the comfort that even though some of my closest friends may make new friends or not be in contact with me for so long, i know id still have them at the end of the day. i hope.

and last but not least, i just realised how unrelated and no-link-ish the contents of most of my posts may be, but ohwell. at least theres a post. its just i dont quite know how to express myself so i jsut type as it comes to my head. which shows how messy my train of thought is. like roti kirai.

Husaini @ 4:00 AM

Sunday, February 7, 2010

This week didnt go well, at all. Well, actually only friday was like a pile of dogshit. other days were just ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im too lazy to talk about what happened on friday. actually, i dont think i want to talk about it even if i wasnt lazy, so there.

according to you,i'm stupid, i'm useless, i can't do anything right.
according to you,i'm difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind.
i'm a mess in a dress,can't show up on time even if it would save my life.
according to you, according to you.

haha love that song. makes me think. there must be a reason the guy thinks that way right? i mean, the girl must really be an ass to him for him to say all that. But...

but according to him,i'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head.
according to him,i'm funny, irresistable, everything he ever wanted.
everything is opposite, i don't feel like stopping it
baby tell me what i've got to lose.
he's into me for everything i'm not, according to you

woah. this guy seems to think otherwise. that cant be right, i mean, either one guy must be lying, or theyre both nuts. or she could be acting differently towards the second guy. which means what the first guy said to her was brought onto herself, seeing as it could be due to her attitude. which makes me think about how we often have double standards towards certain people.

orrrr, what if the second guy sees her that way cos he sees the beauty in her and the first guy doesnt (or something sappy along those lines). that either means the second guy is really nuts for liking someone like her or the first guy was just an ass. either way, someones going to get heartbroken, dontcha think? because the first guy would surely still like her and stuff like that, which makes me think if all that was even worth the trouble in the first place.

also, see how the girl only sees what the guys think of her, and not what she thinks of herself? she does not refer to herself at all, which could mean shes judging them based on what they say. or what they think she is. which makes her pretty much a naughty girl. teehee ^^

alah thats just a song. and im just a retard.

the deeper point im trying to make? have fun figuring it out.

Husaini @ 4:54 AM

Monday, February 1, 2010

i am so grateful to be in such a good school.
i always take it for granted, but boy, i am so lucky.

i am so grateful to have taken the path i took even though it kinda hurt to know that i could have taken another path.
by taking this path, i got what i probably would not have gotten if i had taken another path.
so i am grateful.

i am so grateful i made such good friends.
never would i have ever imagined that i would make such close friends.
good friends.
and some of these awesome friends came from places i never would have expected them to come from.
ever.

i am so grateful that i had the chance to meet so many great people.
greatness comes in what they do, how they do things which set them apart.
these people leave a really deep impression in my life.
i am so thankful for that.

i am so grateful to have joined rugby before.
i made some friends there. had the best four years of my life.
learnt the true meaning of grit and perseverence.
learnt the true meaning of pain, of sacrifices, of heartbreak and ultimately, regret.
learnt how people can change.
learnt how immature i can be, and how this makes me do things id eventually come to regret.
but still i am grateful.

i am gratfeul for my family.
for my mum who, though does things the harsh and sometimes hard way, ultimately cares and does what she does for me.
for my dad who is always there for me even when i dont expect him to be.
for my bro. cos although that bugger doesnt seem to do much for me, i know he cares for me, and in a way, he makes me feel powerful and responsible, cos i have to take care of him.
for that, i am ever so thankful.

i am so grateful to have been given the chance to live.
sometimes i ponder, what if i hadnt been born?
i would imagine myself floating around, like those "spirits" you see on tv.
i would imagine looking at how "i" live my life. i would be disgusted. i would be surprised. i would be amazed. but most importantly, i would be jealous. jealous that the person is living, instead of me, in my place.
because if i were not born, i would not even be in this world in the first place.
i would not know the smells, sights and sounds of this world.
i would not even feel upset at not being allowed to live, because i wouldnt even exist.
so i am grateful.

i have so many things to be grateful for. i am sure that all of us do. when you sit by your lonesome and ponder these things, they suddenly hit you. the realisation tides over you and you get overwhelmed. simply because you actually really do have alot to be grateful for. its just that we sometimes miss these small things in life, which, in essence, is what life is about.

dammit i feel like such a ninny now. haha husaini is a softie awwwwwww. NAH IM NAAAT. XD
the week barely even started and im doing this. teehee ^^

Husaini @ 4:07 AM

about

Ahmad Husaini
02/05/1992
Raffles Rugby 05-08, Pwnage09, 10S06F
I like sports, though nothing in particular

Tagboard