You get what you give. Really?

Its been great

2010-05-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

I think im moving. To wordpress. If i like it there then ill keep posting there instead. But ill keep this here for memories. And i might want to post here for a change too. Its been great pinutboy of blogger. Time to welcome pinutboy of wordpress (:

2010-05-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

The drama went by very well. Really, it did. I mentally envisioned the drama to turn out like how it did on thursday during pracs, and i was immensely worried. The mistimings of the lightings, the miscued sounds, the clumsy and noisy props and the soft, soft actors. Not to mention the lacklustre dancing which i thought for sure would spoil the whole thing which cwas already not too good to being with. And i was surprised. Pleasently surprised. Everything went smoothly, save for a few hiccups which i think were superbly covered. Special mention goes out to props who, though i thought werent excellent, drew praises from certain segments of the audience.

Im so proud of you guys. And the cast. And the AV people. And the mouse clicker. And even the dancers.

Takdir really is something wierd isnt it. You cant anticipate it. You cant interpret it however you like cos its not meant to be interpret that way. It just happens. And we have to accept it. Just like that. Though it sometimes sucks.

2010-05-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

Ah i should be asleep but what the heck im up so i might as well post. Anyway, ive just done some reflecting ,well not just, a few days ago actually, and i realised that i might be burning out WAAAY ahead of schedule. nnononono thats bad. But the signs are there. Ive been feeling totally unmotivated for work for the past two weeks. In fact, ive done zero work, apart from last minute cramming for both SPAs (and by that i mean reading the notes ten minutes before the test o.o) and attempting to read up for physics lecture. But its like, i cant bring myself to read the notes.

I get physically tired very fast when i attempt to study, and when i do get around to do it, i would totally not be able to read on. like either my mind will keep rereading the same sentence over and over again, or somehow i cant get my mind to mentally read the next few words.

In an attempt to remedy this, i sometimes just turn on the computer to play, but even that gets boring very quick and i end up jsut staring into the computer screen most of the time. its just so hard to study and i dont know why, or at least i THINK i might know why. I have not been studying for four years prior to jc and the sudden studying at a fast rate might have taken a toll on me. and i hate that. damn, i feel like crying sometimes when i read my notes, these two weeks. and for no reason. Its kindof amazing that it took me two weeks to notice this. I would have thought that i wuold sense this faster. see? even my mind isnt working properly.

MAYBE i did not burn out (whew) but something is just troubling me and i dont know what it is.
ah crap that sounds like very indulgent, selfish ranting.

___________________________________________________________

Time Clicks as I await

The hour ends before my take

Sitting, thinking, waiting; my mind escapes

The day grows old as night passes

Wolves crying, coyotes howling; anticipating

Watching, staring, seeing -- nothing

Silence begins the day

as morning comes without notice

Tears begin to fall, slowly

The day moves on without hope

Wishing to be what is not to be

The sun moves to its peak

without a whisper or retreat

Time moving, but still empty

Stomach aching, curling

Still waiting

-Gary R. Hess

NONONONO DONT NYAHAHAHAHAHA XD

2010-05-10T06:54:00.000-07:00

~ It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend her faults. So to love a woman that you cannot bear to see a stain upon her, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship. ~

The week so far has been better than i expected. Of course, i wasnt expecting much this week anyway. Monday was stuff myself day and stuff myself i did. i think i spent close to ten bucks on cheap and good food in the canteen. mehhh. I dont want to gain even more weight o.o BUT good food is important so what the heck.

Todays physics SPA went much better than i expected. no silly circuits to set up, i brought my calculator, i prayed v hard before the test, i did it, i felt good. thats all.

And if what was quoted above is true, i must be quite a terrible friend. i dont know how else to say things other than how they really are and, well, i sure as hell cant speak painful truth through loving words. ohwell. what to do XD

if i were a boy.

Fickle Pickle

2010-05-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

"FICKLE PICKLE"

Ah, it is just something amusing zaid and halim and I heard on our way back to school from j8. At Bishan mrt, someone did the loud kissing sound so instinctively, the three of us turned back. along with another group of ITE students. and it turns out it was for them but we watched the kissing-sounder nonetheless. She laughed and said "HAHAHA aku fickle siaa" and without batting an eylid, her friend to whom she was kissing to replied "A'ah, macam pickle." ROFLMAO heh i dont know why but it just seemed damn funny. shows us just how capable malays are of making sensible conversation XD

Anyway today is rashidis birthday woohoo! the plan was just awesome, really. zaid and halim was to present rashidi with a pandan cake from uncle heng and say "Nah your birthday cake." then we would come out with the real cake and the gift. and totally surprise him. So we did it during tarian prac. AND IT COULDNT HAVE WORKED BETTER. initially, we had some problems, like how to make the transition between getting the pandan cake and getting the actual cake. But there were so many ppl there we decided to just get them to sing a song to distract him. and embarrass him of course. Then another problem came. none of us (halim syat zaid and i) was thick skinned enough to start singing, though halim made a valiant attempt to gather the people. luckily, just luckily, faizal came along and being his tak malu and at times attention seeking self, agreed to start singing a birthday song. AND SING HE DID. he practically shouted the song and i couldnt help but laugh while helping syat prepare the real cake. retard XD

And we came out and gave him the cake and all the while rashidi was making this happy-but-i-cant-do-anything-but-smile look. and his reaction when he got our gift was priceless. he took the gift, unwrapped it (it was covered in moo's jacket since we were too cheap to buy wrapping XD) and held the thing, a female version of the alien stitch, being pink and had an extra pair of antenna compared to the male one we gave him two years ago, in one hand, and started laughing his ass off, pointing the coveted middle finger to zaid and I. i felt so damn accomplished TEEHEE. and of course he liked it, but for the fact that we might have been mocking him a little, and he knew it. but thats just part of the fun. and once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RASHIDI! though i know you dont visit this blog heh heh (: (: (: (: (:

ahh well time to get back to mugging. CHEM SPA, PHYSICS LECTURE TEST and IMPORTANT ECONS TUTORIAL to prepare for tmr. die die die. i cant fail this physics lecture test. i got a reputation to uphold, surprisingly enough. heh heh.

thats all for now (:

When life gives you lemons

2010-04-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

This week went by quite well, even though its only thursday now (:
I went for my first math ASP for two weeks and i must say i find it extremely useful. The fact that the class size is about 5 - 10 people and the fact that they dont anyhow assign lousy teachers to this thing makes it all the more enriching. I find myself doing extraordinary things during math ASP, partly because they give really good summarised notes and partly because being surrounded by people with around the same level of math competence really is a confidence booster. i shall not pon ASP anymore (:

smile people (:

tuesday was ballsssss. but since when has tuesday not been balls? i lent my gc to iqbal because he had a math lecture test. but i forgot that i had physics practical mock SPA that afternoon. During the SPA, i fixed teh circuit right the first time, but the reading was wayy off. like how your supposed to get zero reading and instead, the galvanometer hits the limit and gives no reading.my teacher came and we both tried all sorts of things to fix this. we changed the batt, changed the wire, changed the resistors. everything. but still cannot. in the end she figured that there must be a losoe wire somewhere and left me. i fiddled with the damn thing until i got it right, only to sneeze and drop the delicate piece of wiring. i had to redo it. and i did. and that left me with 30 minutes to get readings, plot the graph, manipulate the formula, find the values, write my observations and calculate uncertainty. adding to the fact that i had no calculator, the calculations i had to made were, well, complex. i had to find the cross sectional area of the wire. using mental sums. i had to divide wierd numbers like 20/7, then use that value to use to divide another wierd value like 0.884 by it.i was quite proud that i did manage to finish the gross table. but i had little else to do.

so for my observation, i wrote "There were no anomalous readings as i did not plot a graph," instead of the usual "There were no anomalous readings as all the points lie close to the line of best fit." i drew a cow at the space provided for calculation of uncertainty.i wonder what the teacher will do to me. but that was fun (: i just hope my REAL SPA doesnt end up like that.

wednesday was quite fulfilling. literally. there was a truckload of doo at teh amphi. well not a truckload but it sure was a helllotoffood. me being my retard self filled a whole container with mashed potato and gravy. and brought it home for snack later. IT WAS DAMN NICE. i didnt have to eat dinner and breakfast and lunch the next day.

and today i watched a very funny drama practice session XD ashraf was at his kesian-and-at-the-same-time-kental self (:

~~~~~when life gives you lemons, you squeeze them to make lemon juice. when life gives you balls, squeeze em till you cry. (for the unsharp mind, please do not actually do it. it hurts. trust me~~~~~

ohwell. i could do with more weeks like these :]

Not This Abruptly

2010-04-21T07:27:00.000-07:00

I think my blogposts are going to shrink from now on. Partly because i am no longer capable of coherent thought (so many unnecessary things running in out of my mind). Partly because i am a lazy person to begin with. And partly because i would feel less guilty about not studying if i werent on the computer blogging.

Anyway this past week has been...quite a week.Nothing spectacular but something did whoosh past. Its like not actually seeing a breathtaking dragon, but you did feel it fly past, leaving you awestruck/panicked for a moment. And again i learn that i really should start learning some lessons from an earlier post.

Dont put all your eggs in one freaking basket

aaand

Learn from past incidents to not experience...it. Again.

Its about time really. because this just aint healthy.

on a lighter note, this week has been not productive. at all. i dont know why, i just dont feel like studying. not the kind where you are lazy (though i am) and then you feel like it would be too troublesome to study. its more like i cant bring myself to do so. i somehow cant. not just mentally, physically as well.

DAMMIT. ineedhelpbutimtoofckeduptoask.

Just when i thought it couldnt get worse

2010-04-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

i miss my old self. i dont know why i just do. if you didnt already know, i hated my ri life solely because of horrible studies. but i like how i was carefree. i like the lack of responsibilities i used to have. but it guess thats the past. nows not the past anymore. its the present. and as much as i want time to go back, i know it cant. so ill just keep on living like theres a reason to.

damn this sucks.

Fiery boulders hitting a castle

2010-04-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

There really is alot i have to learn. about everything.

My last visit to the counsellor helped me learn a little bit more about myself, though i think i would rather not have learnt it. after 4 weeks of seeing me, evaluating my actions and what not, she concluded the final meeting by saying that i am a loner and that i need to seek more help. for my own good. that kindof hit me by surprise, but the more i think about it, the more it seems true yknow?

I realised that there is a difference between actually having friends and knowing people. Very different. yesterday and today, i sat in the canteen and looked around. true i know many people. heck i think i know almost everyone at least by name. but the fact that i was close to none of them really hit me. its like "omg husaini how long have you been living in that illusion that everyones youre friend?" at the end of the day, i think there are only a few people i can really call friends and that mere fact contribute to me being a loner.

I also prefer to sit by my lonesome. apparently. but what most people dont realise is that im actually waiting for someone to come sit with me so at least id have someone near me. this shows how uninitiated i am and also how i end up being alone most of the time. though im really lucky to have the same few friends who always stick with me, they cant always be there.

And one last thing which was kindof new to me which the counsellor pointed out was that i have trust issues. i told this to rashidi and he was like "yeah what, you do have trust issues." and i dont know how many other people have noticed that. except myself. maybe i do. but i dont know what i have to hide or why i have to hide things. maybe my subconcious mind knows precisely that and makes me have trust issues to hide stuff. but what? i have no idea.

This will probably sound a little more trivial than the stuff before, but i really cant make eye contact and talk to someone at the same time. ive known this for quite awhile. since sec 2 actually, but i cant fix it. i dont know the cause. i dont know why i havent changed. i dont know alot of things.

Haiz this week kindof sucked, somehow. I just got to let it all out, some of the stuff thats bugging me.

And screw chem. another U and i swear i will tear the paper into four pieces.

A Brid in The Hand is not good.

2010-04-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

This is going to sound like something ive mentioned before. Or maybe not. Maybe ive told this to pinut. But anyway, i think i harbour secret hopes of one day taking over the world. Thats right. The WORLD. THE world. THE WORLD. Not in a business sense or by outsmarting the planet in trivial issues like food shortage and such, but by sheer evilness. Like in those cartoons where the bad guy has this legion of followers and he has this unrivalled weapon of mass destruction. Or simply weapons of mass fear since none of us actually knows if the weapon works, cos if it does, there wouldnt be a world left to take over.

I would be holding this weapon, presumeably a gun, a death ray which can shoot out beams of heat so hot that it defies logic as to why the gun doesnt melt. I would be in this headquarter so high up that, using the laws of physics which apparently doesnt apply to evil kings of the world, a single gust of wind should topple me. I would have my favourite meal served with the snap of my fingers, which isnt all that convenient since i cant snap my fingers properly. But being evil king of the world, i can blame it on one of my 6 billion plus servants and have him/her/them executed using that illogical death ray gun.

I would not need a whip for i have my gun. Go figure. Seems likethe gun is the source of my power. Nobody dares to steal it for fear that if they get caught, they will die in liquid state.

Now what if that little fantasy of mine (shit man i actually sometimes daydream of this kind of shit) suddenly obeyed the laws of physics? I wouldnt have a headquarter, leaving me a homeless king of the world. My gun would melt when i shoot it, melting my hand in the process, making my vulnerable to all the people i have hurt. Or, my gun cant melt and hence, the gun would be more effective as a club (seeing as for the gun to be that hardy, it has to be heavy and realistically, i shouldnt be able to get proper aim with it). But everyone knows that a one man show with a melee weapon against the world will only have one ending: me winning.
Nah thats impossible, again. Hence, my empire falls, and the new age of man (why is it always the new age of MAN, not woman?) arises from the ashes. Andi wake up/snap out of it, feeling a little disappointed.

Im turning 18 this year. I cant believe i actually still imagine these things in my spare time.

I NEED TO GROW UP.

Like cows on the streets of india

2010-03-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

Heh heh i feel the urge to share what i saw on tuesday morning so bear with me XD

On tuesday morning, as i was waiting for a cab on the curb to go to the clinic, i saw this Bangladeshi worker strolling across a patch of grass. And since the road was empty, albeit for an onrushing motorcycle, he decided to cross it, leisurely. The way he walked macam the road was named after his great ancestor or something. Damn relax. Then the motor started to horn and dude walked slower to turn his head to look at the motor. The motor horn some more. The dude just kept his head toleh-ed to look atthe motor while walking. The horn went nonstop and finally, the dude just managed to get out ofthe way, even if it did take the motorcyclist some skill to swerve past him. Then once he crossed the road, he started running. To the construction site. What a slacker.

And the cool part? The motorcyclist sempat turn his head to look at the Bangla worker, and the pakcik on the delivery motor just laughed. hahhahaha wth man i laughed too. at the pakcik.

Cool kepe? That made my day XD

Lobster Pot

2010-03-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

Hi. Its been some time since ive been here. I was busy with, uh.....i dont know. i guess i just wasnt busy and hence i dont know why i didnt come here. well, time to update!

On the monday ofthe last week of school before the holidays, i was fine. I felt a slight pain in the butt (quite literally) but dismissed it as i was able to play an awesome 1 hour 30 minute game of handball with my class. I was running around. as usual. I was sitting in all sorts of weird positions. as usual (heh). And i could bear the slight pain. See this is why having a high threshold of pain sucks, you wont know what hit you till it really steps on you with high heels.

I woke up on tuesday morning with the feeling that, well, someone shoved a cucumber up my ass. Really damn pain. Cant cough or sneeze without tearing involuntarily. I told my mum i didnt want to go to school, mumbled my explanation to her and trudged back to bed while she was nagging in the wee hours of the morning. Went to the hospital and the doctor said "aiyah that one small lah, 1 cm by 1 cm only, i give you antibiotics and it should clear up." Thanks ah mr doctor the next day it grew. i could feel that it was bigger. and this time i couldnt even sit down. but i took a super strong painkiller (which, unlike what the name suggests, didnt kill the pain, it made it a little more tolerable ) and went for GP ct. it was freezing and i was slightly feverish. i finished with 30 minits to go and stared at my fingers which were turning blue. i thought it looked quite cool. Then after that i went back home straight away cos the pain came back (the darn painkiller only lasted for, what, 3 hours?).

Nighttime was a nightmare. Once i lay down in bed, i couldnt get up anymore. and i had a high fever. so i couldnt sleep the whole night, playing Championship Manager so many times i swear i could win an international tournament should they decide to have one. The next day, i went to the hospital again in the afternoon and saw a different doctor. one look and he went "alamak so big. need to operate." woohoo power. and this time it was 4 by 2 cm. and i was duly hospitalised. and the nurses forgot to order my food that night so i ate a biscuit liek sandwich because it was so keras. lucky got milo.

the next day i was operated on. it was quite cool because i remember waiting on the bed in the operating room in the waiting area and a nurse came in and said "this is going to be abiiiiit drowsy ah" and put some liquid in me. withing 20 seconds i fell straight to sleep. so much for being abiiit drowsy. i woke up feeling absolutely nothing (that was honestly the best sleep i ever had) and then the nurse said "hello. youre operation is over. we are waiting for a nurse to bring you up now" and i was like WTH?! so fast?!

apparently, as the surgeon later explained, the thing was 2.5 cm deep, hence, there is now a hole next to my original hole. and its bigger than the original. ITS BIGGER, ITS BETTER. naah its not better. and i earned an MC which lasts me till next tuesday. which is stupid cos then ill only have to come to school on wednesday. that gave me a grand total or attending school 2/30 days. how cool is that? and to top that im on long term PE mc, three months, meaning ill miss the first round of napfa testing and if i make it back in time for the retest, ill be doomed cos i havent trained for so long and ill have to got for a longer NS than the rest of the guys. rawr.

but im well now. at least i feel better. the hole is now about 2 cm deep, its slow, but its progress. but i can walk and i can almost sit properly without that float ring thingy. but i still cant run or jump. BUT i kicked a ball today. and that felt good XD

and all this while ive been at home, studying 4 hours a day, playing 4 hours or 5 hours a day, moping around or sleepingthe rest ofthe time, making it a very boring MC period. sigh. at least i can be back in school on wednesday. that is, provided the doctors dont think i need an extension, as ill be going for a follow up on the 30th. graah.

bears are awesome. i ate hello panda chocolate flavor and i like the cute drawings on the biscuits/cookies. makes me feel happy.

heh somethings wrong with me XD

P.S. oh and i exceeded my phone bill by a whopping 300 smackeroos all because i was experimenting with the internet and got carried away. grrr. now im left with the same 5 dollar a week allowance ive been on for the past 8 weeks for the next couple ofweeks, i calculated that this testing period would end somewhere just before national day. hurray, i get to celebrate the nations birthday, missing everyone else's in between. life _ _ _ _ s. fill in the blanks as you like.

Acceptance

2010-03-07T02:45:00.001-08:00

I should learn to just accept things as they are. No, not EVERYTHING. That just makes me a retard, like a cow being poked in the nose. Or snout.

Haha what was that about? Im not quite sure myself. Do tell me once you think you know heh. Id love to know.

Anyway, i think the week went by rather quickly. Monday is always a nice day, because effectively, i only need to go to school for physics and chem lectures and PE. But the school, being a dog, a female one, likes to fill up my timetable. Mind you, my timetable isnt a "fill-in-the-blanks exercise". Even if it was, the school would fail, because the blanks should be filled with enjoyable stuff like "watching movies in the library" or "going to the hodge lodge to play mindless games". Instead, i see more remedials. Not nice.

Tuesday was long. And unenjoyable/wasted. Wednesday, more of the same, thursday too. I should find a better way to spend time in school or else i might aswell go home to study.

anyway, while chatting, i spontaneously came up with a quote which i kindof like.

~~~~~ if it makes you uncomfortable, why bother? ~~~~~

Makes sense to me.

you know, when i find something i like, i like to keep it. if i cant, i should just leave it someplace nice and in good condition for someone else. no?

Heh Sorreh

2010-03-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

Im so sorry, i just posted, but i thought i ought to share this song. its so...i dont know. nice i guess. but its the meaning thats whats so...nice. i should read more.

You Took My Heart Away lyrics | Free Song Lyrics

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything
And a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life

I love that song.

Hate That I Love You

2010-03-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

Its so late at night already and im not asleep. And its not just because ive been doing math like the good boy i am. or want to be. its just, hard to sleep when youve got so many things going through your mind. but the thing is, i have no idea whats running through my mind. its like looking at the race track and all you see are cars zooming past. you dont even know what the car model is, or the driver for the matter.

Ive been doing alot of observing lately. oh, in case i didnt already mention, one of my hobbies include observing people. how they behave. why they behave the way they do. how this affects what they will do. get new ideas on the way other people might react to what you do. find similarities between other people. find differences between other people. find out what makes these differences. hypothesize how people could be different had they been brought up differently. dammit i love my hobby. i really recommend it, though one of the bad things about doing this is that people often mistake what you are doing as daydreaming. and when embarking on this, i strictly recommend that you keep the observations centered around other people. dont try the same thing on yourself. and ill tell you why.

if you had a pop quiz, say on math. it would really be a true measure of how consistent you are since you would not have been able to specifically prepare for the quiz. however, if you somehow knew that a pop quiz was coming, it will not be a true gauge. pretty much the same concept. your mind will know that you are trying to read your actions so it will make you do what it wants you to do for the sake of observation. this leads to inaccurate, often contradictory thoughts about yourself and all it does is to confuse you. which is NAT good.

ive been observing alot, thinking alot, drawing all sorts of conclusions. and i realised how little i know. what i work on is purely hypothetical. it will always remain as a hypothesis so long as nothign confirms it, which is hard. because if you seek for it to be confirmed, then it will be, which makes your observations confusing. if you leave it be, you may never get the answer andyoull be left hanging. which is pretty much where i am. damn its just hard to read people.

but its interesting nonetheless. sometime in the future, i think i want to be involved in a profession, albeit for a very short time, which involves dealing with affairs of the mind, for manipulation is something i find very fascinating as it gives you unparalleled control over one's actions. im a sadistic control freak. nah. not yet at least. but you just wait. someday i will rule thet world.

wouldnt that just be interesting?

Where did my memory run off to?

2010-02-23T04:20:00.000-08:00

God help me i lost my GC again. looks like 7 more weeks (in addition to the 7 i have left now, not including this week). that leaves me with not money till after my birthday. wheee...

tut tut

2010-02-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

this week wasnt as useless as i thought it was. i learnt a few very important lessons.

1) dont make the same, stupid mistake twice. i must be an idiot to do it again. so this time ill just shut up till the time's right.

2) people are not like books. you simply cant read them. you can srsly get totally misled if you do, so dont.

3) tutorials are only useful if you prepare in advance (took me long enough to figure this one out, but i did). or else you'd just be left blur in class and feeling like shit cos you dont understand a single thing the teacher said.

4) lectures are not meant for sleeping. night time is when youre supposed to do that. instead, i found myself sometimes dozing of in lectures and desperately trying to fill up my lecture notes by myself in the middle of the night. not good.

5) expect the unexpected. cliched? then it probably applies to everything in life. the only way to counter this would be to expect the worse. that way, any unexpected thing would turn out to be nice and anything bad that happened would already have been expected.

6) of course, prepare for the expected. no use expecting if you dont do anything about it.

7) dont assume the world spins around you, or that the world spins around any one particualr person. thats just stupid.

8) find out how strong a basket is before filling it with your precious eggs.

hmm, things happened and made me write that. i really hate talking about them cos it makes me feel like crap. but thats about as far as ill go.

Go Easy on my Conscience

2010-02-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

Send someone to love me

I need to rest in arms

Keep me safe from harm

In pouring rain

Give me endless summer

Lord I fear the cold

Feel I'm getting old

Before my time

As my soul heals the shame

I will grow through this pain

Lord I'm doing all I can

To be a better man

i feel like such a bear now. a bear on a low lying (vv strong) branch from a tree with my heavy arms hanging by the side and my eyes are barely open. it feels like every part of my body is a heavy bear part, and then when someone (presumeably my brother) walks past, id take a heavy and lazy swipe at him and he would fall GEDEBAK. and it would feel good. heh. okay fine, bears dont do that, but id do it if i were a bear anyway.

i just feel lazy these days. not lazy like "i dont want to do work id rather lepak" but lazy like "i want to do work but i dont know if i should." what a stupid question OF COURSE I SHOULD. but do we really do what we all SHOULD do? probably not. its just been a rather emotionless few days. i feel like i dont FEEL anything. like this happens. okay. next?

sometimes i wish i could be just like any other normal kid, who feels normally, who does things normally. but im not. clearly. (eh my MnM, the valentines gift one, one of the little nuts came out in the shape of a heart! it was so cute hahaha but i ate it nonetheless). sometimes i think i have a gift for food heh. like i know what would taste nice together and what would not. which prompted me to try my own recipe for breakfast. i put spread butter on two slices of bread, put cheese on one of them and put semi crushed keropok (not the fish one, the white-ish one) in the other and atethem together. and it turned out real good somehow XD too bad i ran out of keropok.

and today was wasted. i planned to study after running with halim, but we ended up playing a fierce game of nerf-gun-war. SYIOK seh the little gun can shoot with so much power. i played and played till almost asar :\ which left me with no time to study. dammit, no more nerfs, husaini.

"true friends can grow seperately without growing apart"

i have no idea who saidthat, and i saw it somewhere (maybe someones pm or even blog but i cant remember heh) and it stuck with me like bubbletea pearl on school uniform. its so meaningful and thinking about that always makes my day. well, part of it at least. it gives me the comfort that even though some of my closest friends may make new friends or not be in contact with me for so long, i know id still have them at the end of the day. i hope.

and last but not least, i just realised how unrelated and no-link-ish the contents of most of my posts may be, but ohwell. at least theres a post. its just i dont quite know how to express myself so i jsut type as it comes to my head. which shows how messy my train of thought is. like roti kirai.

According To You

2010-02-07T04:54:00.000-08:00

This week didnt go well, at all. Well, actually only friday was like a pile of dogshit. other days were just ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im too lazy to talk about what happened on friday. actually, i dont think i want to talk about it even if i wasnt lazy, so there.

according to you,i'm stupid, i'm useless, i can't do anything right.
according to you,i'm difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind.
i'm a mess in a dress,can't show up on time even if it would save my life.
according to you, according to you.

haha love that song. makes me think. there must be a reason the guy thinks that way right? i mean, the girl must really be an ass to him for him to say all that. But...

but according to him,i'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head.
according to him,i'm funny, irresistable, everything he ever wanted.
everything is opposite, i don't feel like stopping it
baby tell me what i've got to lose.
he's into me for everything i'm not, according to you

woah. this guy seems to think otherwise. that cant be right, i mean, either one guy must be lying, or theyre both nuts. or she could be acting differently towards the second guy. which means what the first guy said to her was brought onto herself, seeing as it could be due to her attitude. which makes me think about how we often have double standards towards certain people.

orrrr, what if the second guy sees her that way cos he sees the beauty in her and the first guy doesnt (or something sappy along those lines). that either means the second guy is really nuts for liking someone like her or the first guy was just an ass. either way, someones going to get heartbroken, dontcha think? because the first guy would surely still like her and stuff like that, which makes me think if all that was even worth the trouble in the first place.

also, see how the girl only sees what the guys think of her, and not what she thinks of herself? she does not refer to herself at all, which could mean shes judging them based on what they say. or what they think she is. which makes her pretty much a naughty girl. teehee ^^

alah thats just a song. and im just a retard.

the deeper point im trying to make? have fun figuring it out.

I Should Be So Lucky, Lucky Lucky Lucky

2010-02-01T04:07:00.000-08:00

i am so grateful to be in such a good school.
i always take it for granted, but boy, i am so lucky.

i am so grateful to have taken the path i took even though it kinda hurt to know that i could have taken another path.
by taking this path, i got what i probably would not have gotten if i had taken another path.
so i am grateful.

i am so grateful i made such good friends.
never would i have ever imagined that i would make such close friends.
good friends.
and some of these awesome friends came from places i never would have expected them to come from.
ever.

i am so grateful that i had the chance to meet so many great people.
greatness comes in what they do, how they do things which set them apart.
these people leave a really deep impression in my life.
i am so thankful for that.

i am so grateful to have joined rugby before.
i made some friends there. had the best four years of my life.
learnt the true meaning of grit and perseverence.
learnt the true meaning of pain, of sacrifices, of heartbreak and ultimately, regret.
learnt how people can change.
learnt how immature i can be, and how this makes me do things id eventually come to regret.
but still i am grateful.

i am gratfeul for my family.
for my mum who, though does things the harsh and sometimes hard way, ultimately cares and does what she does for me.
for my dad who is always there for me even when i dont expect him to be.
for my bro. cos although that bugger doesnt seem to do much for me, i know he cares for me, and in a way, he makes me feel powerful and responsible, cos i have to take care of him.
for that, i am ever so thankful.

i am so grateful to have been given the chance to live.
sometimes i ponder, what if i hadnt been born?
i would imagine myself floating around, like those "spirits" you see on tv.
i would imagine looking at how "i" live my life. i would be disgusted. i would be surprised. i would be amazed. but most importantly, i would be jealous. jealous that the person is living, instead of me, in my place.
because if i were not born, i would not even be in this world in the first place.
i would not know the smells, sights and sounds of this world.
i would not even feel upset at not being allowed to live, because i wouldnt even exist.
so i am grateful.

i have so many things to be grateful for. i am sure that all of us do. when you sit by your lonesome and ponder these things, they suddenly hit you. the realisation tides over you and you get overwhelmed. simply because you actually really do have alot to be grateful for. its just that we sometimes miss these small things in life, which, in essence, is what life is about.

dammit i feel like such a ninny now. haha husaini is a softie awwwwwww. NAH IM NAAAT. XD
the week barely even started and im doing this. teehee ^^

2010-01-31T03:12:00.000-08:00

Wow. last week was such a wow week. So many things happened and i dont know where to start. so i think ill just start from monday.

Monday was just another ordinary monday. Everything reeked normalness. Blehh.

Tuesday was SLIGHTLY more eventful. I went to school then went home at 11 because i was sick. Which was stupid because i got the cold from sleeping on the coldcold floor the whole night for several nights. but i really love sleeping on the floor so i think ill do it again XD

Wednesday was retarded. I finished early and....actually i forgot what i did. all i remember was that it was retarded. OR if i remember correctly, i re-learnt how to play four chords on the guitar, then instantly forgot them. I therefore conclude that i was not made to play music.

Thursday was a killer. I had civics then PE (where our teacher made us do what he called "super leg exercise". Really took my legs off, that one). I naughtily pointed the finger towards the J1s who were watching us do PE teehee ^^ why am i so naughty? after that, i watched the orientation for awhile and i must say, i think their orientation is more interesting than ours o.o buuuut its okay i guess. gives the J1s a nice way to remember their J1 days when they become J2s.

THEN AFTER THAT BREAK I HAD NO BREAK TILL 5.30 PM O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O

i had double chem (which is never nice), physics lecture, H1 econs tutorial which was exceptionally boring, physics tutorial (which was a waste of time as usual), H1 econs lecture test which i forgot to study for :O :O :O and finally chem remedial which would have been more useful if the teacher's voice didnt irritate me. but it was still a useful remedial so nyeh xD

Friday was quite a disappointment for me. I really planned on studying after solat with mudd, and i thought mudd wanted to join me for studies as both of us didnt get promoted to J2 normally, but thennnnn we somehow ended up in the hodge lodge again and then the rest of it JUST HAPPENED. we played A SHILOAD OF GAMES ( i never knew i could last 3 hours or more playing games and doing nothing more ). I eventualyl even got tired just because of playing. BAHHH. ohwell, i guess the fun made up for the shit week i had. and i thought my week couldnt get worse.

it did.

i lost my temper again yesterday. dammit i might need help.i dont know why my emotions macam ter-magnified sangat these days. if i get happy i really lose it getting happy. if i get bored i really jsut stone and waste time. if i get mad i really lose it and get mad. i just bought a new GC (which cut my allowance to five dollars a week cos i couldnt afford another GC after getting my phone O.O) and then i told myself i wouldnt lose it cos i cant afford to (seeing as my old GC finally broke down after some harsh treatment). i had another argument (getting more frequent, gotto stop it husaini, you need to realise that being in spite is bad, let alone being in spite of your mother). actually this time, it wasnt even an argument. my mum was jsut seriously dishing outthe nag and somehow, everything she said touched a nerve, effectively crumpling all my nerves together then BOOM ithrew the computer chair. against the wall. and broke off the switch box thingy. and left huge terrible scratches on the wall, which i had to clean up.

and today, i was unable to focus at all. like my head still got dengung. though i managed to do some work at least. i really hope next week will be better. it had better be.

THERE IS SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH ME AND I STILL CANT FIGURE IT OUT AND IT REALLY, REALLY REALLY BUGS ME LIKE MAD. LIKE AND ITCH YOU CANT FIND/REACH.

haiz.

nak kena smack

2010-01-22T05:41:00.000-08:00

WHEEEE i just realised that my "fly" muscle is practically non-existent. which feels weird if you look at it that way, because it hurts (after doing pullups) yet when i press it (i like to press parts of my body which hurts heh macam makes me feel satisfied. dont know why) i feel only my ribcage. which means at this rate ill never get that nice looking V-shaped body BUT OHWELL WHO CARES. heh xD

Life could be more interesting. IT SHOULD. oh MUHD FINALLY CAME TODAY! its probably the first time ive seen him in about 3 months o.o way too long, seeing as he is my good friend. I HOPE HE COMES MORE. but thats just evil. somedays ill drag halim (and maybe rashidi, that lazyass) along to SRJC for a change.

THANK GOODNESS ITS THE WEEKEND. school just seemed horrible this week.

i am a retard.

2010-01-20T05:43:00.000-08:00

Im sleepy. I have been feeling sleepy lately. But i dont want to sleeeeeeeep, theres so much work to do o.o

We never really get what we seek, and we always miss out on what was right in front of us. Thats life. Thats why it sucks. Only a lucky few ever get to live their lives the way they plan. heh i guess that malay peribahasa, the one where you aim for the moose, you shoot the raindeer then when u look at it closely, its actually a dog, is quite apt (im not even sure if the peribahas goes that way but ohwell).

Today was kindof fun. i realised (to my relief) that i am not THE MAJOR FACTOR why people cant study in school. Sure i happen to be there everytime that happens but it turned out that it was all just sheer coincidence. BETUL TAU TAK BEDEK xD Just now i couldnt do math properly because maskil was there. and theday before the whole table of us cant do work cos ram verma was there. other days, it would be other people. i really aim quite quiet when i study so i dont disturb people ^^

i think. (halo above my head still there)

i think there is somethign wrong with me now o.o
i am liking dance-y songs more (remedy and piece of heaven for eg) when i didnt use to like them.
i am gaining weight even though im eating considerably less.
i feel insecure all the time (about almost everything).
i am way too quiet.

DAMN IT GAAAAHHHH.
focus husaini focus.

:) x) xD :D =)
SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Things Change

2010-01-16T01:27:00.000-08:00

Well the first week of school went so much better than i had previously expected. I am not ponning lectures (which is an excellent start), i am completing at least half of a tutorial before its due tutorial period (which is awesome) and i actually have time to do other things, above all the nonsense (which is the best thing so far).

Yknow, school started very well for me. Mondays, all i have is to come to school for Chem lecture, PE, and a Physics lecture, above protected time xD Thats probably the best way to start a week i have ever had in my life.

Things sure feel weird this year without saiful in my class. Sure he was a large factor in my misbehaviour last year, but he always makes it so much fun. He puts the FUN in anything, i tell you. That boy has a gift. Then this year everything seems so bleak (above all the keeping up with work that i have been doing). I guess it just takes getting used to? After all, i did have him in my class for three years (arguably the most fun yet underacheiving years for me).

Suprises are aplenty. Oooh yes. Many many surprises. Some more pleasant than others. Some leave me with my jaw dropping, not knowing how to react, or whether to react at all. For one, the solat room isnt full of sleeping malay boys anymore, which has to be a good sign, seeing that we finally decided to pick ourselves up this year. The J1s this year kindof makes me feel weird.

Last year, when i was a J1, i looked at the J2s and went (in my head) "wow theyre so cool. we'll never be like them and we'll always be immature pieces of shit." Now, i look at the J1s and go "wow theyre so immature. we cant have been that immature." Its interesting how this perspective changes, because its not as if we suddenly GREW mentally within one month or so. To me, we are just the same ol' us, and yet, I look at the J1s and feel that THEY are the ol' us, and we are not us at all. So in a way, we are the same, yet different. Do i make sense?

On another note, zaff came back. i dont know how to react. maybe i wont.

things change. in more ways than i ever imagined.

THE CHUBB CHUBBS ARE COMING

2010-01-10T04:17:00.000-08:00

Oh no. School is reopening O.o
GP homework progress: 0.5/26
Actually thats the only thing thats making me worried.
Im starting to feel sick, and as much as i wished i really was sick, i know that its just a state of mind.

OHNOOHNOOHNO!

okay nevermind. BREATHE.
inhale.exhale.inhale.exhale.

much bettah.

ohwell, guess that means im dead. and school barely started yet.
goodbye cruel world.

Bear With It

2010-01-06T02:16:00.000-08:00

Being cornered by a towering figure. Trapped in a room with no apparent escape. Somehow predicting that the worse will happen even with almost the best efforts to prepare to avoid it. Stuck in an endless cirsle or educational poverty. Not in the monetary sense at least. This all evokes a certain sense of fear. And fear is something not to be messed with, for it could lead to shitty things. It makes one delusional. It makes one forget. It makes one blank.

And when one is blank, a whole load of crap happens. Picture this, someone doesnt get angry often. If he normally does, he gets over it very quickly. Apparently. Now when one is blank, all those years of cooped up nonsense takes over (of course, the actions of the subconcious mind of an immature person).

When that happens, everything SEEMS so clear, yet at the same time, you know its very hazy and all you see is what your mind wants you to see. That nothing is wrong. That everything is fine. One even loses control of one's voluntary actions, making them involuntary yet at the same time, you want it to happen. It's one of those things where you know you shouldnt do it, yet you find yourself involuntarily doing it because you seem to have lost control over your actions, and then yoe feel that you actually WANT to do it after all.

The head feels hot. You can actually feel your ears getting hot. Your mind is being bombarded with all that nonsense you'd rather do without, seeing as there is already alot on your plate. Yet everything seems fine, in a surreal way. The bombardment doesnt stop. In fact, it gets worse and yet you still feel fine. Apparently. More rubbish unloaded at you and suddenly you dont feel fine anymore. In fact, you dont feel at all. Its all just a blank. This is when the mind, the subcouncious, immature and irrational mind, takes over. You pick up something, and it feels lighter than you imagine. You know you want to feel it in your hands, yet you find yourself just swinging your arms downwards with such a force that even you are surprised by it. The thing breaks. That's it, you hope.

The relentless noise continues and with such ease and swift, yet another object is taken and thrown, much to your surprise. You still feel nothing. You decide to just walk away and hope nothing happens. You know those movies where the hero walks through a war area and bullets bounce of him? This felt just like that, only,its normal everyday things, like a pail filled with water and such. You even brush aside some people as if they werent there at all. Everything seems so light. So surreal. You just commited a fcking huge sin and you feel fine. Actually, you dont feel anything.

You sit quietly and suddenly it hits you. Your mind which was momentarily paralyzed snapped back to life, only to find a pile of shit to deal with. You get confused. You dont know what happened, yet, you actually do know what happened. You feel regretful so much so that you start to cry, yet you feel great for doing all that.

Imagine doing all that. Just imagine. Damn, i have anger management issues.

aiyaiyai im a little butterfly

2010-01-03T21:14:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA woah im finally back. And now that im back, i dont think anyone would visit this blog anymore ,cos its been dead for a few months teehee xD

but its okay. someone will chance upon it someday when he/she/heshe is bored and then id have at least one visitor. anyway, for those who are reading this, noticed that the tagboard is EMPTY?

well thats because i lost the code for the old one so i conveniently made a new tagboard. nyeh nyeh nyeh.

so whats new with me? nothing much. you know, i just realised that i look almost the same i did, physically, as i did back in sec 3. almost. of course theres that extra layer of fat that came from Godknowswhere but the point is, WHERE DID THE 13 EXTRA KILOS COME FROM GAAAAHHH. i was 75kg in sec 3 and now im 88. dammit. dammitdammitdammit. and im not even old yet. wait till i reach 30. that kind of sucks yknow, not knowing where all the weight went. KHALIL IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ THIS SHATAP I KNOW YOU ARE DAMN THIN AND CANT GAIN WEIGHT.

hmm im bored. im supposed to be studying alot during the hols. well to be fair to myself (teehee sounds so BLEH) i did finish up on J1 chem. at least the promo topics. i finished half of math and dare not look at econs. physics is another story ill leave it for now.

p.s. for those who are as bored as i am, you should check out raywilliam johnson on youtube. that guy got a sick sense of humor (haha thanks for letting me on it bro).

thats all for now i think. till next time (hopefully before this skin expires like the last one did).

AHSFGAGBAEIGHAEUGFHAE.
ahhh felt good.

row row row your boat

2009-10-15T07:28:00.000-07:00

i hereby declare that LAN-ing is a waste of time, money and time. 3 hours 40 minutes. 7 bucks burnt. I vow not to LAN more than once every three weeks from now on. Instead, i shall use the money i save from not going to LAN to buy other necessities such as food (alot of it) and gain weight.

waaait a minute.

I also hereby declare that i will not eat more than 3 meals a day, making breakfast and dinner compulsory. Therefore, i can only allow myself to eat ONE meal in school, with only ONE snack. Which leaves me with excess money to....wait for it....go LAN-ing.

Or, i can declare that i will save whatever excess i have for future use. A few such envisageable uses of the money would be to

1) EAT LIKE A PIG/LIKE I AM NOW
2) Go LAN-ing

what a predicament to be in. (did i use the word properly? i really have no clue. it just sounds cheem). seems there are very little options wth what i can do with money except to eat, go LAN, or save to do either of the abovementioned. i cant buy new items, cos then kena interrogate by the relevant authorities on why i got it without consultation.

ID LIKE TO MAKE MYSELF BELIVE THAT PLANET EARTH TURNS SLOWLY

oooh nice song...

ANYWAY yesh. that little problem. just one the the petty things in life that i cant seem to handle. pathetic. telepathic. pathy. nicholasandrewjonathankiramathypathy.

awesome name.

heh distractions galore. s'okay. i think i could use the extra delay in confronting th eproblem xD

IM A SQUIRREL.

somebody give me a gun. leave the bullets in, please

2009-10-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

like a sheath with no sword, a book with no words.

dammit whats the use of good intentions if theres nothing to act it out upon
whats the use of money if u cant share it
one can try as hard as one wants, but whats the use if people u want it to matter to dont care?

whoosh. that didnt feel as good as i thought it would feel.

on a lighter note, :) xD :D
smileeeeee. it does the world a whole load of good.

(i should stop this rant-ish thingy cos it kindof pisses other people off. okay i will.)

kthxbai o.o

He waits, she waits, nothing happens.

2009-09-09T06:26:00.000-07:00

PROMOS ARE UPON US. GAAAAAAAAAAH.

what are you doing here, go bury your noses back in some stack of notes. Speaking of which, i am damn bangga that i finally almost fully understand stoichiometry! woohoo!
Now all i have to do is do the same thing for the remaining 7 topics tested for chem.
Which should take about one full day if i were to really master it. that leaves 15 days for everything else.
Im planning to spend only 3 or 4 days on physics, assuming 4, i have 9 days left.
math is a bitch, as in seriously, all the stuff u learn always manages to disappear right before when it matters most. soo ill take about 7 days, assuming i already mastered pure math and all i have to do is stats...
leaving me with 2 measly days.

ooh we forgot to add in hari raya, which on any other occasion, would make me super excited, instead, it adds to my anxiety because that takes away one full day due to jalan2.

1 day left. what to do with it? econs?

how about that, mr econs, youre at the bottom of the pecking order again. one day to suck it all in. i really do hope i get an S for econs. id be super damn proud if i got it.

factoring in pw, which always appears when we have alot to mug for, id say i would have to minus off a day or two for each topic just to accomodate pw.

that leaves me with no time for econs. brace yourself for a U husaini.

PINUTTTTT I NEED TO BITE YOUUUU!

on a side note, i hate shopping for baju jalan, as i did just now. freaking took me 2 hours to find ONE shirt. cos most shops sell stuff made for tiny asian men. I CANT WEAR ANY OF THOSE THINGS MAN. forget topman. id never fit into one of those. cancel out every other clothes meant for teenagers and im left with baggy stuff. again. but noooo. i found one of those kind of shirts, only, at a very large size. yay im happy but tired. when i grow up, if i become successful, ill open a small shop selling clothes and shoes for ppl like me. and dont get me started on shoes. i feel like cryingeverytime my shoes koyak, cos then id have to spend hours looking for one, JUST FOR THE SIZE. no design and all yet.

x_x

screwed like a driver

2009-08-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

did you ever wonder what we are here for? apart from the higher calling?

math is eating my world. and im eating food, as usual.

2009-08-19T06:38:00.000-07:00

(x-11)/((x^2)-x-2) > 4
=> (x-11-(4x^2)+4x+8) / ((x^2)-x-2) > 0
=> ((-4x^2)+5x-3) / (x-2)(x+1) >0
since the numerator is always negative, denominator must be always negative too o.o
that means the solution set is.........................*checking answer key*...........................
...............(-1,2) !!!!

im so proud of myself for checking the answers before attempting the qn.

if one peanut costs 3 cents, and a kacang costs 4 cents, how much do you expect to pay for a bag with of peanuts+kacangs which weighs exactly 100 grams, given that the probability of a peanut being dropped into a bag is 0.45 and the probability of a kacang being dropped into the same bag is 0.37, and that the probability that a peanut weighs less than 2 grams is 0.3 and the probability of the kacang weighing less than 3 grams is 0.6 ( the assumption is that peanuts and kacangs are dropped at random in a factory and a bag is passed under the dropping thingys)?

if that question came out for the Alvl math exam, i will eat my paper.

here puddy tat

2009-08-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

i like cats.

everyone should like cats.
cats rock.

MIAO.

pantat means pantat lah.

2009-08-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

Ohno the mugger switch in my system just wont budge anymore. its stuck somewhere near the off part. well at least i am doing some. somehow i think i am acting differently. Am i acting differently? different being what i dont normally do? or doing what u expect me not to do? i dont know.

somehow i feel different. as in, i dont think im normal. NOT THAT I WAS NORMAL BEFORE. i dont think i am myself. and i dont know what to feel anymore. macam emokid ah but no not emo. haha. macam i am all confused tau. when things not funny i find damn ticklish. when ppl all sad i feel nothing cos i am torn between looking at the happy of the situation and feeling for the sad people. i dont laugh or find things funny when other people do, i dont feel sad, instead i get all confused. i dont feel happy, i just appear high to cover the fact that i dont know what to feel. in short, i dont feel. when im supposed to feel something, i get all confused (third time saying but who cares xD) and end up not feeling anything. kental ah.

SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ME xD AND I DONT KNOW WHAT xD PASTU HAPPY xD

and i think volleyball is lame. heh no offence to the awesome people in it, i have nothing against you I SWEAR. its just because of our suckiness, we are often overlooked and put at the bottom of the priority list. haha. and i mean the sport is lame, cos i personally find pleasure in doing sports which get more physical than just whacking the ball with the palm of my hand. ill sum it up in one equation:

(NO COACH FOR A LONG TIME NOW) + (NO PLACE TO TRAIN SOMETIMES) + (OUR SEVERE DISADVANTAGE HAVING ALMOST NEVER PLAYED IT BEFORE) + (THE TEACHERS DONT GIVE A DAMN) + (PEOPLE DONT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY *heh im guilty of that*) + (KENTAL COS NO CONTACT) = PANTAT

nice equation. better than the shit we learn in chem. haiz. i wana play soccer.

soccer anyone?

hut hut hut.

2009-07-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

Omg this has to be my bestest peekture ever. That is stittalicious, standing precariously on a railing with round edges. Falling behind him, he would land in a bush which would not be comfortable at all.

Falling FORWARD was a different matter altogether. he would end up at the bottom of mount faber. and mind you we were at the top. That would be a very painful experience. he would fall past a fake merlion, a grasscutter on the hill, a fake patch of golf turf, a shitload of butterflies, on his way down. yikes. good thing he didnt fall. or stittalicious wouldnt be stittalicious now. he would be another stittalicious. peanuts.

I wish i was a psychomotorically inclined as him. i know for a fact if i tried that, i would fall either way after getting just one leg on the railing. i like to blame it on my high center of gravity. and my apparent lack of control over my body parts. damn, i can even fall tergolek while walking.

why am i here. i should be doing chem. cos saturday PARENT TEACHER MEETING my parents seeing all my teachers plus I HAVE TO BLOODY GO ALONG. which would make me panic if i was still in ri. but i have mastered a new skill, the stone-i-dont-give-a-damn face. it works. and i can do it almost to perfection. get ready teachers.

peanuts again.

i feel like a hero

2009-07-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

Maan i miss those days.

Yesterday Shift and i had perfect days. :O like seriously, nothing wentwrong. not a thing.

I went to econs remedial and finally learnt something useful in econs, then had a short break in which i ate like 3 kepokkepoks which were damn nice, and the uncle had a different chicken which was also nice. Then i went to physics lecture and though i did not pay attention, even if it was because i already did teh stuffs at home, i managed to beat some highscores in my hp games. wow.

Then after that i ate the best value for money combination there ever is, the first time in a long time. nasi with rendang with potato wedgies. mmm. THEN i did my math tutorial (wah bangga cos i never can do them myself) and went to class EARLY. like for teh first time since school started. after math i went down and met Shift, who also apparently had a good day. so being good muslim boys, and also coswe had nothing to do, we went up to solat early and went back down in PE to run. thats right people. my aim to do it duringthe december hols was pushed forward till yesterday, BUT WE DID IT STILL XD. and we wentback up at 3 plus and had the soalt room to ourselves to lie and rest in the comforting darkness as well as coolness. coolness.

THEN i went to econs lecture early. again and the thing is, i was not going to let my good day end jsut yet, so i slept upright looking at my notesandshaking my head occasionally to make it look like i was reading. it worked, up till the point i apparently snored. then the teacher pointedteh laser at me and my friend woke me up. sheesh. ohwell, atleast i charged my phone duringthe lecture.

haha i wish days like that happen all the time. not stupid days like these. heck today i went home early cos i thought i had stomach flu. i went to the trouble of getting the blue slip signed by my ct who, as i expected, lectured me for 40 minutes outside teh staff room about my work ethic and all. then i went to the clinic, took the meds, went home and lay down on my bed. it was only thenthat i realised that it wasnt really a stomach flu. it was just that i did 1 situp too many and my abs hurt like hell. dammit. and to top it off, i developed a cough from godknowswhere. i suddenly started coughing. dammit.

ooh and for the recodr, the game i was playing, championship manager, just sacked me. twice. fml.

wishing you goodbye

2009-07-24T22:46:00.001-07:00

I never like the school at night, or when it gets dark. Theres nobody there. Nobody i can possibly meet, nobody to help me feel safe when im all alone. Ive been at school alot of times when its dark, and i must say i dont like it. There seems to be some sort of sense of foreboding about it. Of course, I would like to stay overnight illegally with my friends again, just once more, just for the thrill of it, but it isnt actually all that thrilling. When the night falls and everything gets quiet, the only thing between me and my friends is the sense that we are there for each other. Sure we will eventually get up and do stupid things, but when all is done and we are in the middle of the field lying down shirtless and gazing into the sky, it suddenly sucks.

Have you ever tried to gaze into the sky? when its dark, lie down in the middle of nowhere and jsut stare at the sky and let the thoughts which want to enter your mind just enter? If not, you should try it. You become all sober and quiet and you start reflecting on a lot of things. I really dont like that.

Back to the case with the deserted school. I guess in a way it reflects my own insecurity of not having anyone around me or anyone being there for me. I can rely on the usual friends to help me, but in the case im alone in school, they will not be there. They have no reason to be.

There. I took this pic back when we were rehearsing for drama (DRAMA FTW). It wasnt even dark yet and it was already scary. There is no sign of life anywhere in this picture. It sucks to be alone. To have nobody you can rely on. To have nobody to be there for you. To feel unwanted. It really sucks.

I have this fear of being alone. I like being alone at home for it opens up countless possibilities of what i can do. But then it all means nothing if i dont have anyone to share it with. It sucks to be alone. I surround myself with my best friends, talk to people i dont even meet often all in the hope that i dont end up alone. As an example, the past week, good ol' patch didnt come for most of the days. I wont exaggerate it, but it was awful. I always looked forward to bursting into the solat room and seeing him there or sth. Sorry gred or even shift, i am not discounting your presence. its just that i am very over dependant on some people. I chat on msn alot with other people, to find companionship, in a good way, cos i cant bear to be alone. i really hate weekends for then, id be alone. But in the end, it all doesnt matter.

Look at the sky people, for those who still bother coming here. Take a good long look and realise your fears. Cos i think i realised mine, and i would fight to not let it happen.

Sorry im just feeling so damn wooly right now.

2009-07-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

Hello?
anyone there?

heehee im such a pemalas i dont even bother to update my blog.
you knwowhats another problem i have found out?

i dont use pictures.
I NEED PICTURES.

i shall find my inspiration to look for pictures in my increasingly decreasing leisure time(:

meanwhile,
I--S-U-C-K.

thats right embrace it while it lasts.

Wham

2009-06-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

I want to kick something.
Now.

give me a ball or something. ANYTHING.
my legs are itching to go man
cos of close to 1 month of inactivity.
haiz. tu ah, siapa suruh tak pergi training.

I WANT A BALL. RASHIDI GIMME A BALL.

soccer. thats the only thing im thinking of right now. heehee.

are strawberries made of straw? i dont know. maybe.

2009-06-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Holy cow i want juice man.
haha i must have no life but yeah. its called the holidays.
i feel like going to school tomorrow, so i have to be super nice and careful in how i phrase my appeal.
if not then confirm cannot go school.
i want to go school cos everytime i go school i WANT to study. thats right. i WANT to.
maybe its the fact that when i go school, there usually isnt anyone else so i can focus.
and 7-11s nearby, so whenever i feel hungry, i jsut have to pop in, take out 1.50, and get myself a can of baked beans.
yummo (:

AND PHYSICS ROCKS. as in seriously.
its the only subject u actually want to study and enjoy doing so.
AND math.
though i still tak faham, the faith in me (or s it stupidity?) tells me to keep going.
like, according to my brain, if u keep throwing needles at a rock, u will eventually break the rock.
ive thrown about 10124354654054254 needles and I DONT SEE A GODDAM CRACK.
*eh actually i do, that little line. or was that my pen mark?*
haiz.
the sheer desperation of me.

and chem has been rotting there, waiting for me to open.
good boy, chem, u can wait awhile more. ill get to you when i feel like it.

and econs. woohoo. its rotting there. and it can stay there. and i can see that it wants to stay there. so ill let it stay. in its eternal slumber, uninterrupted until perhaps my promos.

WHY must i not like chem and econs?

heh now im ranting pulak. dah i shall stop.

peace. to the world. and beyond.

i feel FRESH

2009-06-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHA yea man after so long i finally found a blogskin i liked :D:D
and its partly inspired by some bedtime story too heehee.
anyway, POWER LAH. haha
this skin makes me feel more alive, happy, not like the old one.
made me feel sad, and low, and emo.
plus the songs on the playlist werent edited since i last edited them(:

sooo theres no playlist now. i dont think ill even put anything else, this skin feels nice as it is.

woohoo back to life.
past two days have been awesome man. i had teh best dinners i have had in a long time,
baked beans and eggs for yesterday and fries and nuggets for today! how awesome is that!
other than that, teh holiday have been generally sucky.
okay not so lah, cos i studied more than i have been for the last four years of my life o.O amazing, but almost true.
and then, i have this new policy drawn up for me, which is i can leave house to go somewhere, preferably for stuying or what, only two out of 7 days a week.
awesome. pure awesomeness. how fun is that.
now i get to stay home AND study, andeven when i have to go out, i have to STUDY again.
how nice.

hmm life could be better, but im enjoying it naow, for with luck and circumstances a bad as this,
i can only possibly look forward to nicer things right?

right?

aww shucks.

2009-05-31T00:57:00.001-07:00

I think i know why i havent posted for a veryvery long time. one, i am getting sick of this blogskin. like everytime i go to my own blog, i feel sad. dont knwo why. haiz. i shall learn to change it someday.

Two, i write in sentences which are too long and i liek to write posts that are panjang giler. i realised i have never actually had a short post before, so i shal lstart picking up the habit soon. heh.

Three, i am malas. yup, the answer to almost all my "why am i like this" questions.

butttt its the holidays now, so i have time to do something about all this. yeehaw hurray for husaini! HURRAY!

Whennnnn guppies can run 400 meters in 2 minutes.

2009-05-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

WHEEEEEEEEEE its 2.02 am and i just finished pi! YEEHAW TAKE THAT U PIECE OF SHIT.

wah man i feel so high after doing disshit. i finally realised what some ppl felt after managing to conquer bio :D DAM HIGH AH ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND IM NOT SLEEPY. yet.

when the highness has gone, i bet u one million dollars minus nine hundred ninetynine thousand nine hundred and ninetynine dollars that i will fall right to sleep due to sheer exhaustion. i must say, that for a piece of work for which i put a decent amount of work into, it looks like it could get me a B. if im lucky that is. heck ah i dont care how lousy it LOOKS im just so happy its done. and this time, i actually thought about every single thing i put in there :O:O:O:O:O

bangga ttm mannn!

WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

haha maybe its not the higness due to finishing the pi. it could have been the super-milo i made. me, being slipshod-y, added normal tap water with three scoops of powder and added sugar and condensed milk and creamer. and being myself, i couldnt resist stirring the damn cup for like 2-3 minutes straight. i swear its some mental disorder, my stirring thing. Anyway it tasted close to NOTHING LIKE THE REAL MILO BUT WHO CARES? its sweet and keeps me awake. oh btw, the creamer did nothing to the milo. i just added it to the milo as an experiment. turns out it doesnt taste any different, so thats one sachet of creamer wasted. haiz takpe. takpetakpetakpe.

EH you know what, my eyelids feel super heavy but i feel like going for a run. in the dead of night. bagus husaini bagus. macam gini dijadinya. HEH i dont know if that made grammatical sense in indon, but again WHO CARES!!

ngapain sih, sih fu, football, ballguard, guard of honour, our house party, tilam rosak, sakeenah(????im quite sure i heard the name somewhere before but i have no idea when where ofr why????), nah ambil bubur ayam itu, tulisan jawi, wikipedia, diari, riang ria RAFFLES WOOHOO! I MADE IT!

EH i shall tell u more about this new fun game we created called, i forgot but its fun! it involves getting points for hitting different parts of the body, like chest 2 points, face 5 points, groin 10 POINTS! ALERMAK! i realise i suck at that game cos of my size. in this case, being big is a disadvantage. hmph. NEVERmind. mine? minefield got alot of bombs. OOOH kenapa tak bilang siang siang? entah tak tahu. nak tahu goreng eh? YA TAHU GORENG SEDAP SEKALI! WOOHOO!
crap i should stop it my super-milo is wearing off and suddenly i feel dead on my ass.

GOODNIGHT YO!

btw its 2.19 am, for those who want to calculate how long i took to make this post, ill spoil it for you NOw. i took 17 MINUTES! HAHAHAHAHA DIE!
oh
not 17 minutes
1020 secons!
orhor . peanuts are damn nice to eat.

(blackout, curtains close.)

people only listen to what they hear

2009-04-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

gaaah life is being a shithead. heh. as in seriously ah. first thing. im slowly learning that i have this new talent, I ATTRACT WHITE SLIPS LIKE MAGNETS ATTRACT METAL. as in what the heck ah i thik i have more white slips than all the malay girls combined. cos they are a kuai/knowhowtobendtheruleswithoutbeingcaught bunch of ppl. haha or maybe im just stupid. seems most of the ppl around me dun get anything for much worse offences, which would prove that im an idiot of sorts. BUT NEVERMIND.

ooh and i love my teacher ah. shes my beloved civic tutor as well and chem tutor, mrs chua. ok i dun want to be mean cos i know shes a nice teacher who doesnt knwo how to break rules and all, but WHY THE HECK DID YOU HAVE TO CALL MY MUM FOR FAILING CHEM? heh i admit, 3/25 is not a pretty score at all, but i heard of people who got 1/25, and they lived to tell the tale :(((

haha takpelah eh. this is what happens u shit on teh floor and never clean up after your own shit. one, its dirty and ppl dun like, two, its dirty and ppl dun like. and last but not least, its dirty and pl dun like.

eh u know, come to think of it, i think i know why this is all happening to me. i think its retribution for STEALING A PEBBLE FROM NUS. yea that place is one kind man. i think it has to be super haunted for a mere pebble to affect me like this. like, okay i shouldnt even have taken that measly pebble in the first place, but it was soooo beayoootifooool like its black and looks mahal kind of pebbel, though i think its just a nicely painted ardinary pebble. it was lying there, practically calling out my name, so what to do kan? if u see a stray kitty u will pick it up and give it a home right, if the kitty's super cute? same here ah. and here it is. right in front of the keyboard, lies that fateful pebble.

haiz i think i should just throw it away. the best thing i can do is to return it to NUS, but seeing as it is super far away, i htink i shall put it in some pond or use it as a decoratvie accessory to put in a dull place.

screw you NUS pebble. cause me so much trouble.

You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel.

2009-04-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

heh this will be in a more serious note. i just realised that i have been wasting my years in RI. as in seriously wasted. the amount of time i spent lepaking and hanging out and tryign to have a social life, if i had used about half of that time for studying i would have been at least a 3.6 student. haha macam perasan ah tapi this is just to show that i really did alot of slacking. i only did work if i wanted to, following my whim and that meant playing some stupid game or another. i only handed in work (which totalled about 50 percent of the total work given by the teachers) late when i was constantly bugged to for at least 2 weeks. i only remember doing my english portfolio in time, in sec 4, and that was becasue i gto tegured through my parents by the english teacher.

i spent countless hours in the malay room, causing trouble and annoying the security guard to a great extent, under the pretext of studying, padahal i would usually be playing bridge and taiti. I spent a shitload of time in teh room at the top floor of the masjid, under the impression that if i went there i would be able to focus more. instead, i found many things to do in that ill-fated room which turned out to be just enough to last me through the sudy period for EOY, which i managed to scrape a pass for most of my subjects without studying much. this really leads me to think, WHAT IF i had been just a liiiittlllllleeeee more diligent in my work? see lah so young already got WHAT IFS. shit i hate that phrase but yea ill have to live with it.

enough with this serious shizz. it scares me to know how deeply i can think at times.

so now i have decided on a few things, eh actually just one. I HAVE TO STUDY. more. and husaini, studying doesnt mean skimming through ur notes once. yes mak i know. then why u still do? *shrugs shoulders.*

actually its that simple. set aside time to study. do nothign but study. even if it means spening less time in school. AWWWWW. even if it means chatting less online. DOUBLE AWWWWW. Even if it means not hanging out with people i love as much anymore. FUCK IT LAH AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :DDDDD

pantat whats wrong with mehhhh????

*nothing boy.*

huh whos that?

*your conscience.*

are you sure?

*yes lah idiot.*

so why am i talking to you?

*you asked the question to nobody in particular, so i answered to make u look less stupid.*

thanks man what would i ever do without you <3333

THERE. thats how my mind works most of the time. notice the blankness and complete lack of content. its just me going in a socratic seminar by myself, only instead of spiralling upwards to find new solutions, mine goes in circles x)

dammit this has got to stop.

and you're not helping.

*i know but isnt that why im here :D*

DAH LAH ENOUGH LAH heh as i said WHATS WRONG WITH MEHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

How do you, how you sleep?

2009-04-10T06:18:00.000-07:00

wawaweewa my last post was almost a month ago. i have been neglecting you pinutman, or rather pinutboy, for that im sorry. by the way pinutman got downgraded to pinutboy because i know for sure my parents visit this blog. if i get even a hint they do again, ill change it again. heh its for my own goodddd. if they happen to be reading this, and that therefore means im just jacking myself, screw me.

ANYWAY time for some long overdue updates! SYF was the bomb man, as in seriously BOMBSYIOKANDALLOTHERNICETHINGSYOUCANTHINKOF. we discovered the many uses of the AVP, one of which is a zool (this is so as the zoo in question is owned by zul, thus the pun :D) and the countless number of hours we spent practising. IT WAS BLOODY FUN AH I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD DO TARIAN NEXT TIME COS ITS SOOOO WORTH IT. in the end, we got silver, which i think was a gross understatement of our performance. okay i shall rant abit, so just hold on there.

its called malay dance. MALAY. so there should be the essence of malay in the dance. and by that i dont mean just having malay sounding songs and malay costumes. i mean the dance should encompass elements of malayness, the whole sopan santunness. HECK even if they say its contemporary, doesnt mean can anyhow dance right? ALMOST ALL THE GOLD AND ABOVE WINNERS HAD ALMOST ZERO MALAYNESS IN THEIR DANCE :\ i honestly think we merited a gold. seriously. tapi takpe eh judges punye pasal. whats important is we had fun AND IM SO DAM PROUD OF THE GUYS COS WE DIDNT MAKE ANY MISTAKES :P and the girls too cos they did what they normally did and it was NOICE. SO YEAH PANTAT AH JUDGES CALL URSELVES MALAYSIAN AND INDONESIAN PEOPLE.

eh i should drop it before it gets nasty. haha.

and honestly (girls dun be offended for any reason ah) the guys were absolutely thrilled at getting the silver. okay i was lah im not entirely sure about the rest. heh talk about low expectations.

OOOh today my family and i went to this rasa rasa seafood restaurant , or i think that was the name. IT WAS SUPER NICE. i ordered mee hongkong and my bro ordered tomyam nasi goreng. foom. it had everything good seafood dishes should have, fresh seafood, extremely tasty gravy and nice leafy veggies, melty noodles and more, i cant remember already. and to top it off we had a great view of a tank filled with live crabs crawling around like mad. the whole ambience was so suitable, i think i shall go there again, only thing is its abit ex so ill have to watch out for that.

then we went to expo for the johnlittle sale. i got myself a white vneck, cos i realise how they make my short neck look longer so I LOIKE. my bro got one too, a smaller one. but the place was more full than a can of sardines ah. like if anyone sneezed in there at least half of the expo's population would get whatever the sneezer was suffering from. if the fella want suffering from anything, they would get a healthy dose of mucus and stuff. yucks. NO LAH i was jsut exaggerating but yeah, u get the point. i hope. if not, go there for yourself and see how its like. THEN tell me how to describe it.

and now im finally back home, having just eaten maggi for dinner. wah i tell u man, i love todays food ah. like, sedap tapi tak sedap kind of sedap, you know?

i think thats all. yup that should be it for now.

oh and i still havent brought pinut to school, poor dudes been begging me to bring him. i think i shall tomorrow when i go to school. BYE!

PINUT!

2009-03-19T01:54:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO. this morning rocked ah. i woke up at 11.30 to see a boiling hot cup of coffee (not the black kind, but the sweet-ish kind with abit of milk). So i decided to experiment by adding two teaspoons of nutella! holy shit at first it look doomed to fail, cos the nutella stuck to teh spoons. but i stirred. and stirred. i read teh newspaper while stirring. i spread some nutella (very messily) onto my bread while stirring. then i stirred somemore. then FOOM my coffee turned blacker. AND IT TASTED DAMN GOOD. macam mild hot chocolate but not so milo-like, more like chocolate flavoured coffee. POWER MAN U ALL SHOULD TRY IT TOO. go get some nutella. its nice.

anyway, i just realised that many people have asked what is a pinut. as u all know, pinut is my cow, as in L-E-M-B-U, and its time i paid tribute to him here, since im breaking the copyright laws by using his name.

Say hello to PINUT! (pronounced pee-nart, not pie-noot, courtesy of ladybug)

hey pinut, dont be rude, say hi! HI!

there u have it. my dear pet. just to see how big/small he actually is, ill compare him to a GC.

haha just the nice size to bring to bed or to sch! or anywhere else he wants to go.

my bro has one too, and im sure uve heard of it too. his blog name says it all. anyway, it is kindof nice to pretend they are alive, just to keep me occupied and give me this feeling that i have someone waiting for me at home (APART FROM MY MUM), and someone i can talk to when im down. heh i actually feel bad when i throw him around, macam lah si kecik ni ada feelings eh.

thats it for now!

2009-03-16T06:22:00.000-07:00

HAHA didnt want that sick shit i call a post being the first one you ppl see when u click posts, so ill put a song!

Broken Strings (feat. Nelly Furtado) - James Morrison

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Well the truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

ALAMAK LAGU SEDAP SIAAAAA

Pantat comes in all shapes and sizes.

2009-03-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

There is so little to be happy about these days yknow. Hardcore volleyball training going to start in like 3-4 weeks (vhaat, who says volleyball is slack :P). PANTAT AH

Somemore got this air of expectancy in the air tau. like we all anticipate sth. sure its coming but we're anticipating it anyway. we're anticipating the emotions, the situation, the scenario and everything. and its sadd to imagine so, and even more so knowing its impending and inevitable arrival, but to actualyly go through it would be better than to leave ourselves in expectancy. it will eat us up bit by bit till we go crazy. i think im going crazy myself, but heck ah. thats not important. PANTAT AH.

Just yesterday, when we sent off halim, there was no anticipation of it. i thought, heck its just 6 days, i wont miss him much. but when we arrived at the airport (in dramatic bollywood fashion), when i hugged him and said goodbye, my eyes actl started to water abit. like couldnt help it. AND THATS ONLY SIX DAYS AND THERE WAS NO HYPE OVER IT. pantat ah.

i think cos hes like my closeclose fren and it never occured to me how much i appreciated him till he left. sure hes not well liked, but beneath his annoyingness, his bastardness and his abitshowoffness, he still is one of the nicest and most reliable guy i ever knew. so thanks halim :D

that was a sidenote. to show that i can get pretty emotional for someone going away albeit for 6 days. 6 FREAKING DAYS GODDAMMIT. why seh. the magnitude is soooo small yet it affected me so hugely. imagine 5 years. or rather 5 blocks of 1 year? can die sia. literally. so maybe its a good thing my aunt got a wedding this sunday. maybe its a good thing i cant go to the freaking airport. maybe its a good thin i went to send halim off, for its prob the last time ill see happy things for 5 years. maybe its all good that this shit is happening. God knows why.

the silver lining behind the cloud?? more like thunderclouds looming.

is it just me, or are u ppl retards? nah, its me.

2009-03-05T05:34:00.001-08:00

Haha just some humour i thought up of during the chemistry tutorial just now. sorry mrs chua, ur a nice teacher, i just cant focus :D

while on the topic of stoichiometry(or however else u spell it), the calculation shizz in chemistry, i thought of a question to ask u ppl.

Sorry the bloody pic is shown sideways so for your benefit, the little writing on the paper says "1dm^3"

[assuming the brown part in the pic is saiful's arm, what is the concentration of saiful in saifuls arm?]

heh hinthint! the answer is lame. at this point, any reference to the real halim is purely coincidental and was not intended. seriously. jangan terasa tau halim.

for those people who dont take chem, im sorry, im just indulging in a brief moment where i actl CAN do abit of chem without confusing myself, so bear with me :D

actl thats all i wanted to point out in this post. haha kesian eh, i lead such a sad and mundane life sampai benda kecik macam gini pon boleh excited.

BTW the answer to the qn is 2 MOLe/DM^3. get it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! im so proud of myself :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

retard

smack this that and everythign else

2009-03-02T05:14:00.000-08:00

WOOHOO smack that. heh.

lifes good so far, i think. oh and sorry for the latelate update, i was busy with godknowswhat. cant be homework or studying, cos i havent been doing that either. haha academically, sch hasnt sucked, yet. of course lah, with the exception of maths and econs, everything else is like a summary of the whole of sec4 crammed in two weeks. wooh and i have to say this.....ECONS U SUCK U CAN GO AND DIE AND I WONT ATTEND UR FUNERAL HECK I WONT EVEN BOTHER CRYING COS I THINK I MAY HAVE ALREADY DONE SO IN THE SHEER AGONY OF TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF U.

haha its just the start of the year and im already behind in econs. kesian. im just not meant to do humans. anyway im in drama. what.the.hell. cmon lah if u exco ppl wanted to put me in a role u houldnt really have asked me what i wanted to do for rj drama and got my hopes up. for teh record, i chose publicity and backstage. but nooooooo. ill bet this has sth to do with fawaz reading my meme. screw it :D

nemain ah worse to worse i forget my lines, terstagefright (which i am highly prone to), accidentally embarrass my "wife" and "daughter" and maybe even EMBARRASS MYSELF by doing something characteristic of me, tripping over mike wires, falling over props, knocking over my thin wife. and the list goes on. so yeah, well done exco ppl. not that i wouldnt try, but life can be a bastard at times and these things do happen, particularly when the person in qn is me :P

heh i am quite. i dno. foom-ed. cos i finish my days at...uhm, very late ah. it didnt seem so if u look at my timetable. all finish macam 1230-130. but monday got lesson at 415, tuesday now got tarian wednesday got training and tarian thursday finish 425 friday got training till 730 :/ ok lah not tired or anything but when i get home i would tell myself "wah u had a busy day take a break and reward urself." so i end up wasting away at teh com.

this has to stop. now.

NOW.

STOP IT.

ok i give i just cant stop it yet. too much timewastign to do too little time. gtg!

song!

2009-02-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

woah time to add a new song. only this time it wont be autoplay, cos i realize how bloody irritating the previous one was, with the jukebox playing at the same time. Enjoy :D

It started with a low light
Next thing I knew they ripped me from my bed
And then they took my blood type
They left a strange impression in my head
You know that I was hoping
That I could leave this star crossed world behind
When they cut me open
I guess I changed my mind

And you know I might
Just float too far from the floor this time
Cause they’re calling me by my name
And they're zipping light beams
disregarding phones and satellites
Oh that was the turning point,
That was one lonely night
The storm maker says it ain’t so bad
The dream maker’s gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down
It’s all in your mind"

Well, now I’m back at home
And I’m looking forward to this life I live
You know it’s gonna haunt me
So hesitation to this life I give
You think you might cross over
You’re caught between the devil and the deep blue sea
You better look it over
Before you make that leap

And you know I’m fine
But I hear those voices at night
Sometimes that justify my claim
And the public don’t dwell on my transmission
Cause it wasn’t televised
But it was the turning point
On a lonely night
The storm maker says it ain’t so bad
The dream maker’s gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, “Everybody look down!
It’s all in your mind”

The storm maker says it ain’t so bad
The dream maker’s gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, “Everybody look down
It’s all in your mind”

My global position systems are openly addressed
They say the Nile used to run from East to West
They say the Nile used to run from East to West
The storm maker says it ain’t so bad
The dream maker’s gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, “Everybody look down
It’s all in your mind”

The storm maker says it ain’t so bad
The dream maker’s gonna make you mad
The spaceman says, “Everybody look down
It’s all in your mind”

It’s all in my mind
It’s all in my mind
It’s all in my mind
It’s all in my mind
It’s all in my mind
It’s all in my mind

PS: i just didnt like the previous one, if you were here when there was a different song, so i chose this one. if u dont know what i mean ignore this xP

woohooo another meme

2009-02-17T05:29:00.000-08:00

here i go again x)

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
husaini
mad (pronounced as mud)
saini? i think only those two but this one i swear i heard someone call me. but i never replied.

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
ate potato chips x)
ate briyani x))
drank lots of water cos im thirsty x)))

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
God (ok i shall keep this here.)
the dark
balloons. the inflated ones lah, why would i be afraid of the flaccid ones?

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
a gay-ish pink quiksilver shirt bought from bangkok for like 2 dollars :D
black long pants which are very panas
erm, specs?

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
yea ok its food too.
games, anyt sort
friends

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
my handphone
my ipod (for chatting)
my wallet, cos no matter whats inside my mum will kill me if i lose it

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
run around like dogs and make sure my shirt gets drenched
lepak with close frens
SMACK THAT all on the floor.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
i want to go overseas with schmates!
try going for everything mcs is organising. fawaz if u r reading this, dont push it :P i said i would TRY
not fail chem?

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
haha honesty. i dno why i laugh
fun
spasticism. i have no idea why those three. i think im becoming retarded. HALP!

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
carbon dioxide
methane
i dno what else is worth mentioning.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
nice heartwarming smile (cheh)
happy eyes (if theres such a thing)
not thin. haha.

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
i have no idea. like it would matter, would it?

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
speak in front of the sch
focus for more than 15 minits straight
keep still

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
POWER RANGERS! i still love you, tony.
being able to play soccer everyday
getting lots of sleep

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
anything ah. asalkan gift :D

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
God (again ill keep this here cos its good)
family
friends?

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
awman lepaking
running around
doing thinking stuff that doestnt require studying. like those IQ tests or sudoku

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
physicist
psychologist
some hardcore engineer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
paris sounds nice
new zealand!
london?

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
bubbles
blossom
buttercup
(IM NOT GAY I JUST CANT THINK OF OTHER CARTOONS WHERE I LIKE ONLY THE CHARACTERS)

THREE BOY'S NAMES:
davies
andrew
rifqi (abeh kembang)

THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
aurelia
hermione (heheh kesian)
ginny (lagi kesian)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
have a stable happy family
fought in a fight and not get thrown to jail
shoot ppl with a real gun. like in NS life drill or sth

THREE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD DO THIS OR DIE A PAINFUL DEATH:
diy (do it man)
i can think of anyone who has a blog and has already done it so yeah

heheh chiao

Short hair :(((((((((((

2009-02-16T06:09:00.001-08:00

walaoeh i cut my hair. again. not fair sia. at first right, my hair was like 3-4 cm below my collar, so my teacher told me to cut it. obediently, i went to cut it so that it was almost 1 cm above my collar. mind you that is cutting off 4-5 cm of my precious hair which i took so long to growwwww. GAAAAH!

then just now, at hair check, my teacher, who is a niceperson, just waayyyyy too motherly, stared longlong at my hair, took a while then said, "eh ur hair is ALMOST GOING TO TOUCH YOUR COLLAR IN A SHORT TIME." first, that didnt make grammatical sense. second, GAAAAAH! not fair. i see other ppls hair like helmet liddat never kena sia. then my mind went blank and then she said if u dont cut by tmr i have no choice but to give u a white slip :/

and just now i just cut my hair to maek it about 1 cm shorter. again. that makes it a grand total of 5-6cm of hair removed from the back of my head. if that doesnt pass, ill go bald.

eh btw, if u havent already seen it, the previous post contains videos of halim doing..well...stuff. he seems pretty embarrassed by them, heh sorry pal, cant resist :P

im going to miss my hair...

I'm high, and i dont know whyyyyyy

2009-02-14T00:47:00.000-08:00

heheh cool title cos it rhymes. anyway, time to update this blog, which has gotten qutie stagnant. theres a few reasons for that too. orientation, and the start of teh school term :(((((((((((

wahkao dam fast sia. suddenly sch started. like, foom (i dno why i like that sound). ok ah not so bad, cos my civics tutor is nice, and my timetable at least got breaks everyday, not like syah.

kesiannn. eh speaking about syah right, Browss! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
omg im evil. i laugh when i see her near rashidi. eh im not sure if im supposed to mention that here, but rashidi hardly goes to other ppls blogs, sooooo i guess im safe :D haha cant help it.

i just get all ticklish when i see stuff like that. feel ticklish, that is a weird combination of words to use eh, zaff?

eh rashidi we should all (as in all the mats) meet every morning at the canteen sia. im starting to miss u all, somehow. eh why am i addressing rashidi only, nevermind. anywayy, im finally in tarian eh no lah i have been in it for like 2 weeks oredi. gaah. eh i must admit, it IS quite fun. i didnt know that learning and memorising moves could be fun, and to top it off, more and more guys are joining. cool ke pe?

btw halim is spastic, from doing the harder moves, to simply running to his spot, he takes the cake sia. seriously. u imagine the uncontrolled manner of which he moves his body parts, added with his stone/spastic/retarded face and u wont be able to help but laugh too.

i actually dont know whats wrong with him ah. like, he moves his body parts as if he doesnt control them himself. like they have a mind of their own, apart from halims mind. and i have proof! mind you will have to increase the volume so u can hear what halim and i are saying, thought just seeing the moving pictures are actl enough :P

haha check it out man. haha he did succeed this first time, but he thought he would get better results if he tried to do it again, without shoes. so here he is again :D

haha the sheer spasticity of some of us. if im not wrong, i have used that phrase before, but nevermind, again.

haha btw, happy vaglaksjeina day. haha for those who understand laa. for those who dont, dont bother :D

OMG i love country music.

2009-02-04T05:21:00.001-08:00

EH listen to this song it rocks ah, like, listen while looking at the lyrics. Thanks for the heads up, Bob.
(oh it s called better now, by rascal flatts)

Better Now - Rascal Flatts
If I had one call to make
I would dial yesterday and warn myself
Tell my lips the words to say
Not let you just walk away with someone else
With someone else

Chorus:
Next time I won’t suffer this kind of pain
Own my mistakes
Not just pass off all the blame
If you were here
We could figure this out

Then I wouldn’t be bitter
I’d just be better now

To be the strong and silent one
A lot of good that has done...yes you’d agree
No one tried to understand or fix these things because you can
Guess it’s up to me…yea it’s up to me

Chorus:
Next time I won’t suffer this kind of pain
Own my mistakes
Not just pass off all the blame
If you were here
We could figure this out

Then I wouldn’t be bitter
I’d just be better now

I’d be much better off
Much better off maybe
If I could just let it go
With no regrets then…

Chorus:
Next time I won’t suffer this kind of pain
Own my mistakes
Not just pass off all the blame
You’d still be here
And we’d figure this out
Then I wouldn’t be bitter

No I wouldn’t be bitter
I’d just be better now

makkau lyrics jiwang seh :P

meme? no thanks

2009-02-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

heheh i just realised that i dont really need a good reason to post. oh and i was browsing through the files in my phone and i chanced upon a strange, uhm, phenomenon.

heheh check it out. i put a flower to his head, asked him to move spastically and tadaaa!!!

meet gay-khairi!

heheh so bad. no lah hes not gay, he just acts his part, very convincingly too.

chiao.

Kenalsuai Crashers!

2009-01-31T05:08:00.000-08:00

heyheyhey! today was supposed to be a boring day, cos its a weekend and im supposed to not play so much seeing that sch is starting soon. so it came as a relief when my bro told me that RIMCC was havingtheri kenalsuai. foom! there goes one saturday. very nice.

i went to sch early, took a few shots at goal with my bro then went to the malay room for the meeting to start. like, just before the meeting, my dear old teacher Saripah saw me and asked me what i was doing. i said i had nothing to do. then came the blow. she said: "you should be studying so u dont do badly AGAIN." nyeh. i know i screwed up hmt ah, but its over, what to do? want donut?

yes please!

anyway, icebreakers then began. i was too malas to go to raja block, so i stayed in the junior block, where my bros group was doing their icebreakers. what a spastic sight to behold. one person did stand out though, poor ol' armaan. they we playing this game, where everyone sat in a circle and one guy will run around the circle, tapping someone. whoever the guy tapped had to go and chase the tapper before the tapper reached where the tapped was sitting before. easy right? haha not for armaan. it is a commonly known fact that he isnt the fastest person in the world, heck, hes not even the 3416546854th fastest person in the world. so, it was quite foolish of him to tap aizat, a gymnast who could sprint almost as fast as his brother. haha poor fella. armaan had to continue running round and round and round until his eyes became round then he died. like when he finally touched a sec 1 fella, he flopped on the ground, only to have the sec 1 fella tap him. AGAIN. haha poor thing.

ah, then came probably my favourite part of the day, the hunt for the uno cards. heheh i was so proud of myself, having assisted in hiding 3/4 of the cards, and i tell u, i just felt evil somehow, being thrust into a position of power. i hid the cards in all the weird places, like in a chinese new year poster and all. haha, best of all was the uno card i taped to the back of my elbow. haha took them quite awhile to find it. haha. omg that was fun. we should do that again, only this time, we hide the cards throughout the whole school. the foom! get ready to suffer ppl :D

ah. when they started the amazing race, halim and i went to rj to watch some ppl practice tarian. haha there were only five ppl, the way hijazi said it, it was almost as if there was a whole class of ppl doing it. haha though i prob will never like dancing, i must say i loved the song ah. it was dam typical malay kampungish and it wasnt bignit it was calming etcetc. it was nice. and i never really saw a tarian before, so i really did like watching them do it

eh sounds wrong seh

as in the moves all dam power. haha. the only drawback for spastic ppl like me and halim is the psychomotorness of it. walao i can die sia trying to do half of what sheila did, i prob would have broken both ankles too, seeing as i can fall all the way to the ground because i tripped on the ground :P

haha things happened after that, we played 1v1v1 floorball, which i won by a score of (me 8)-(nas 4)-(halim 3). waah. i dint know i was so pro at floorball. cheh perasan eh.

after awhile i did get bored, so i decided to use ashraf's amazing mac to chat on msn. but there were so many kaypohs around (rashidifitririfqialif just to name one person) that i had no choice but to resort to spastic measures to avoid prying eyes.

kesian eh, sampai atas cupboard. korang ni ehh.... (pic courtesy of halim)

today was a swell day, with all the lepaking and fun stuff we did. my sympathies go out to those who have been inexplicably not allowed out of your house. kesian. no really, home is no place to be when you are terribly bored. ish ish ish.

better luck next time!

desperation drives ppl nuts.

2009-01-30T04:17:00.000-08:00

A few days back, i got really bored, cos i had no electives (or i like to think i didnt have any). thus, halim, fuzzy and some random manjen went about looking for fun things to do. Because all we had was a monopoly board and a pack of cards, we decided to go hunting for stuff to do. naturally, we went to popular, seeing that it was empty (despite its name) to search for possible games or things we could use to play with. we searched high and low, and all we could find was a pathetic red stress ball which, immediately after purchase, was kicked into a very tiny hole in the wall.

the sheer spasticity of some of us.

anyway, luckily we had the manjen guy, cos although he was quiet and didnt do much, he saw what the three malays didnt see, a stick, which he duly used to poke the ball out of the hole. ingenious, amazing observation skills, resourcefulness. some of the qualities halim fuzzy and i lack.

Oh the trip to popular wasnt all that unfruitful, i managed to get a picture of an ongoing scandal. take a look:

Haha thats stitch! humping poor ol' pooh. and for some of u nutters who still dont know, stitch is the nickname wesaved for rashidi, cos he does have a striking resemblence to the real stitch. sick eh si die tu?

haha its not enough that they are doing this disdainful act. they do it in front of the whole world. GASP! even with fuzzy trying to block this obscene act, they are still in full view of the general public. tsk tsk tsk. kesian pooh. i wonder who is the real life pooh?

and unless i had a very misguided childhood, i am quite sure that pooh is a male. ish ish ish. does this mean rashidi is gay??

on to more trivial matters. haha like as if the stuff i mentioned before wasnt already trivial.

on the way back home just now, i spotted a very disturbing scene.

see where they are standing? its a place for physically handicapped people. no offence to any mentally-challenged persons out there, but seeing as both of them are in perfect physical condition and yet they are standing at a place designated for physically handicapped people, one must conclude that they must be RETARDS. yes u heard me. fuzzy and halim are retards. as in, their ears were screwed on too tight or sth. and the fact that halim knew i was taking a pic of them showed their total lack of, shame?? i dno. haha. its fun taking pics such as those, u can weave a tale from just a single pic.

Eh, this has been a totally pointless post. haha nevermind.

yea nevermind, a philosophy i hold dear to me.

bye!

Nyeh

2009-01-29T03:53:00.001-08:00

Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

haha the ranting continues. life has been really boring/slow/uneventful/useless these past few days. first i couldnt go out during chinese new year. like, i wanted to go out and hang around with frens and stuff like that, cos i really hate being cooped up at home all the time. my body isnt built for that. really. keeping me in all the time is like trying to hug a cactus. u try to enforce yourself upon me, i get abrasive/unresponsive/obnoxious/irritable. just ask my mum :D

hugging the cactus also does no good to the hugger. heard that, tree-huggers? eh technically cacti arent trees, but who cares. nyeh.

eh that really makes me a bad son. heheh. eh dont get the wrong idea. im not saying i love being a bad son, its just i wish my mum would see more of me than a small kid who doesnt know how to take care of himself. comon man, im all grown up. true, u still buy my underwear for me and all, but i think i can take care of myself now.

speaking of which, i will either be veryvery late for kenalsuai on 7th feb or i wont go at all. cos i complained recently that i had stomachache and started to lose appetite. turns out, i found out that i was being stupid and my loss of appetite was due to the fact that i havent been exercising and thus, i would get full very easily. still, nothing would penetrate my mum's cast iron excuses and thus, i have to go for a medical check up. on the 7th. convenient eh?

heheh now that i think of it, i think i got all the hard-headedness and a little dose of ego from my mum. haha though she never likes to admit it.

eh enough. i shouldnt be talking so many bad things about my own family. ish.

ish again.

nyeh.

whew. i really wish we could have more numbers joining rashidi halim fuzzy and i in games, cos there are just some games that require numbers, and four cant do it alone. haha oxymoron. four=alone??

haha it feels kind of weird having the rgs ppl around. macam, weird. i dont know how else to put it. not used to it i guess. its amusing to hear them talk loudly then laugh then go camwhore then go eat then play all at once.

hm, apart from that, nothing much has been happening. oh, and halim, if you are reading this, bring ball, cards, maybe monopoly and other games that can kill time. eh weird eh, ironically, while we are killing time, we wish we had more of it

till next time. haha time. weird thing eh?

dah cukup-cukup.

ps: im adding as an afterthought, since halim pointed out that four=one isnt an oxymoron. ish. how dol of me. nyeh ah u halim.

Eclipse!!

2009-01-25T21:37:00.000-08:00

Eheheh!! today got eclipse!!! as in an eclipse where we will be covered in darkness. OMG im sooo excited!

Like, i wonder what power im going to get. Superstrength? nah. i have plenty of it oredi :p how about flight? I'd love to be able to go from one place to another place farfar away from here. that would be great.

i wouldnt mind X-ray vision :D

for those who dont know what im talking about, forget it. i am referring to heroes. cos when got solar eclipse right, ppls powers come out. waaaah

eh childish eh?

you know, the thing is, i actually am kindof excited because of the prospect of having powers. seriously seh. im abit old for this kind of thing, but somehow i cant help it. im just waiting for the eclipse ah. like something special is going to happen ah. like, whoa. haha i cant contain it. im bouncing in my seat as it is.

nyeh.

ill bet i will be disappointed when all i see during the eclipse are nutters looking through the telescope. but hey, its reason enough to celebrate! or atleast i think it is. I think i might be one of the few ppl who take this seriously, but hey, im entitled to have my moments of excitement.

Chiaoz

ps: i think this excitement is caused by the lack of it the past few days, so pls dont think im like..i dno...crazy, cos i know for sure i havent lost it :P

pps: keep the happy people!

Another quiz. Ami that stupid?

2009-01-24T06:39:00.000-08:00

Eh. I just realised i LURRVE doing this kind of quizzes. No idea why. and i found this after Diy said it was on my bro's blog, and i just couldnt resist :p

Here goes:

Name: Husaini omg why does every quiz have this??

Birthday: 2 May. Im like singapore's malay beckham ah. cheh..

Birthplace: Singapore

Eye Colour: black, but i swear i saw i tinge of brown in there.

Hair Colour: Black

Height: 178. since sec3..

Right Handed or Left Handed?: Right.

Your Heritage: Malay

My Worst Habit: I've plenty so i wont bother.

Zodiac Sign: taurus

Shoe Size: 12, not cause its big, but cause i have wide and short feet. so its kindof hard to fit.

Pant Size: 36

Parents Still Together?: yes

Shoes You Wore Today?: birthday shoes??

YOURS
Your Weakness: Im shyshy cat.

Your Fears: heights and the dark. and balloons.

Your Perfect Pizza: one with absolutely no veggies and stuffed with meat and cheese.

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Try qualify for a h3 subject, i guess.

Your Most Overused Phrase In Instant Messenger: its a tie between "nyeh" and "haha"

Your Best Physical Feature: do i really need to answer?

Your Bedtime: i dno. my body clock is screwed so i sleep whenever i feel like. could be 9 or 12.

Your Most Missed Memory: playing self-invented mat games in the seminar room with all my buddies.

MY FAVOURITE

Colours?: blue, red, purple

Food? : erm, i like spaghetti, cos i saw an ad on it recently. but this ans will change once i see another ad.

Animal? : Cows, cos my bro bought me a stuffed cow for a birthday and i have not looked back since.

Ice Cream? : anything sweet without the masin2 stuff or lime2 stuffs.

Candy? : i dun like candies.

Store? : erm, sports shop. i like pretending i can play every sport.

Salad Dressing? : i dont eat salads.

Actress? : elizabeth banks!

Songs? : country music, and songs with nice rhymer whymer lyrics.

Letter? : "S"

Number? : 8, cos of some stupid fantasy i once had that i was the best 8 in rugby ri ever saw :p

Gum? : bubble

Holiday? : CNY and Deepavali. we're not involved and dun need to go sch.

Season? : winter.

Toothpaste Flavour?: i dno. mint?

Radio Station? : 987 fm

Perfume? : nivea, cos its nice and cos adidas spam theirs with alcohol that smells overpowering.

Scent Besides Perfume?: bandung smell

Body Part On The Opposite Sex? : ish. how inappropriate :p

FRIENDS AND LIFE

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? : i dun really have a clue

How Do You Want To Die? : in a war. then i can be like my bro. die in syahidness.

Turn ons: quirky character

FINISH EACH SENTENCE
Let’s walk on the: road and see how many cars horn at u. my best was 3.

Let’s look at the: sky, as recommende by soooo many ppl.

What a nice: day to lepak.

Where did all the: teachers go?

Why can’t we: enjoy all our lives?

Silly, little: kids running around in the canteen

Isn’t it weird that: im weird?

Never Under Any Circumstance: will i cry in front of alot of ppl. call it ego :p

I wish: i was lean.

Everyone has their: day.

I am: a boy.

HAVE YOU EVER

Been In love? : probably

Been to Juvie? : no

Mooned Someone? : i choose not to disclose.

Been Rejected? : i have no idea. if yes then ppl have been to kind to tell me.

Ran Away from home? : NEVER.

Picture your crush naked? : nooooooo. amazingly enough, never.

Skipped School? : i'd like to think i havent.

Thought about Suicide?: yes. damn i hate PT.

Slept Outside? : yes. its nice esp when i overnighted in sch with my frens and gazed into the sky for 2 hours or so.

Laughed so hard you cried: yes.

Cried in school? : a few times

Thrown up in school? : no.

Wanted to be a model? : haha not even if u gave me a million bucks. 2 million maybe i consider.

Cheated on someone? : Nope

Done Something Really stupid that you still laugh at it today?: yea, loads.

Seen a dead body?: i saw my cat die. does that count?

Been Bitched Out? : i dun think i have. ifi have, again, ppl dont tell me.

Drank Alcohol? : nope

Smoked: NEVER

Been on drugs?: nope

Eaten Sushi?: YESS its super nice.

Been on Stage? : Yupp

Gone Skinny Dipping? : haha tried to. before me frens stopped me and pointed out that the boarding complex was just behind me.

Shoplifted? : yes , buti returned the thing. so nice.

Been Drunk? : i guess u could call what i usually am as being drunk, but i highly doubt ive been intoxicated.

Been called a Tease? : dont know what it means.

Been beaten up? : nope.

DO YOU

Swear? : Yes

Sing Well? : i' like to think i do, but i know i dont

Shower Daily? duhh, excpet when i was in hongkong and bangkok.

Want to go to College? : yea

Want to get married? : yea

Believe in yourself? : i do, but i wish i did more of it

Get motion sickness? : i think i did once.

Think You’re Attractive? : nope. lets face it, who would be so thick as to say yes?

Get along with your parents? : Yes, most of the time

Like thunderstorms? : nooooo

Play an instrument? : no. psychomotor skills absent.

Own an iPod? : haha yes i own u khairi :P

Pray: yes.

Go to Church? : never. BWAHAHAHAHA

Sleep with a Stuffed Animal? : yep, with that ill-fated stuffed cow.

Keep a Diary/ Journal? : nope. cant be bothered.

Dance in the Rain? : no. i dont dance.

Sing in the shower? : when noone else is at home.

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke? : pepsi

McDonald’s or BK? : macs

Single or Group Dates? : i dno. anything?

Chocolate or Vanilla? : vanilla

Strawberries or Blueberries? : i hate berries.

Meat or Veggie? : meat

TV or Movie? : both

Guitar or Drums? : i dont do both.

Adidas or Nike? : adidas, cos nike doesnt have freaking shoes that fit me.

Chinese or Mexican? : i havent tried either

Cheerios or Corn Flakes? : corn flakes

Cake or Pie? : cakes

MTV or VH1? : MTV

Blind or Deaf? : eheh i want neither. but if i had to choose, it would be deaf.

Boxers or Briefs? : i like both!!

CAN YOU

Do the splits: haha no. anyone who have seen me do sports can tell.

Write with both hands: technically everyone can.

Whistle: a little

Blow a bubble: yep

Roll your tounge in a circle : yes

Cross your eyes : yes

Walk with your toes curled : haha if the floor is dirty

Touch your tongue to touch your nose: ee sick sia. and btw its no.

Dance: nope

Eat whatever you want and not worry: i used to do that. see what i became in sec 4?

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON

You touched: my bro

You Talked to on the phone: mum

You Instant Messaged: muhammad

You Hugged: dun think ive ever hugged. intentionally or conciously.

You yelled at: shreyas, some indian guy whos nice and just cant seem to get along wtih anyone.

You played a sport with: rashidi, faizal and some random manjens

WHEN WAS THE LAST

Time you laughed: like 30 min ago

Time you cried: i dno. in april or may.

Movie you watched: hancock

Flavour of Gum you chewed: mint

Joke you told : a ba'hi joke. i wont say it cos its stupid and offensive.

Song you sung: Superhuman by chris brown. i cant hit the high notes so it sounds spastic, since its a high song.

BELIEFS
Life on other planets: Nope

Magic: yea

Love at first sight: prob not. seems impossible doesnt it?

God: duh

Satan: duh too

Ghosts: Yea, isnt that why im afraid of the dark?

Santa: nope. unless i get a gift from him.

Evolution: haha i dun like to think i came from monkeys. thats just stupid.

IN A GUY/GIRL
Fav eye colour: black

Fav hair colour: black or brownish black

Short or long hair : somewhere in the middle

Height: shorter than me

Weight: lighter than me

wow that was one loooong quiz. didnt know i had it in me to finish it. goodnite ppl!

Dying of Boredom

2009-01-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

Now that i think about it, I think it was really dumb of me to have started this blog now of all times. i mean, one would think that i would start it cos i had something fun to share or anything. but nooooooo. this is me we are talking about and i do things, um, as and when i feel like it. so yeah.

and right now, im dying of boredom (not possible, is it?). i am stuck at home with half the day gone and no plans whatsoever for the rest of today as well as tmr. and tmr its not my fault i cant go out. i have madrasah, and on a very convenient timeslot too. its 2.30 to 5.30. amazing. just when i thought life couldnt get worse. nah, madrasah isnt bad, as you get to learn how to be the good muslim that i am (cheh...kembang ah.), its just the sheer timing of it, being right smack in the middle of the day, effectively killing any chance i had of actually enjoying myself.

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

a little of my frustration. it goes a long way, just, i dont think it would look nice in one post. so i will spread it throughout my other posts :D

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

sorry i cant help it. i want to do sth. anything! i could read up on my sciences, but treating a fever with another dose of fever isnt going to help.
i could do something with the internet, as given its wide range of uses, there surely must be something for me to do.

so thats what i have been doing.
staring at the godforsaken google page for godknowshowlong, wondering what to search for.

and i spend most of my days in front of the com, waiting for someone, or rather, anyone, to come online so i can have a good long chat.

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

okok ill stop.

eh btw, i just learned that it is common courtesy to ask someone if i could view their blog before actually visiting it (is it really that common?). heheh and i understand that i may have inadvertently visited a blog or two which, now i reflect, i should not have been to in the first place. for that, i am sorry :D

no really i am :D

see? the smile makes it look unsincere.

aww. seems i have to stop here otherwise ppl will lose interest because ppl dont like reading long posts. so ill just have to go find other mind-numbing things to do.

chiaoz.

100 truths

2009-01-23T06:51:00.000-08:00

001. Real name → Ahmad Husaini
002. Nickname(s)→ Erm, i dont think i have any...
003. Star sign → Taurus
004. Male or female → Male -.-"
005. Elementary → White Sands Primary School
006. Middle School → Raffles Institution
007. High School → Raffles Junior College
008. Hair color → Black
009. Long or short → Somewhere in the middle.
010. Loud or Quiet → Quiet
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone or Camera → Phone
013. Health freak → Haha no.
014. Drink or Smoke? → Never
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Probably
016. Eat or Drink → Drink?
017. Piercings → None
018. Tattoos → Nope
019. Been in an airplane→ Yes
020. Been in a relationship → Nope
021. Been in a car accident → Nope.
022. Been in a fist fight → Yea. What fun :p x)

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → Never lah.
24. First best friend → Adib, in kindergarten
025. First award → Im quite sure i have some, but i dno whens the first :p
026. First crush → I have no idea. Somewhere around kindergarten i guess.
028. First vacation → Indonesia, but i forgot where :p

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → Bro, i guess.
030. Last person you texted → Sheila. OMG why is that so?
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with → If this means going to the cinema, i went with my family to watch Jurassic park a good 10 years ago or so :p
032. Last food you ate → Goreng pisang
033. Last movie you watched → Hancock, maybe?
2034. Last song you listened to → Superhuman, by Chris Brown and Keri Hilson
035. Last thing you bought → erm some fridge magnets?
036. Last person you hugged → hmm. come to think of it, i dont think i have ever hugged anyone. maybe when i was unconcious ??

FAVES:
037. Food → Haha i have no real preference. I just eat.
038. Drinks → anything mango-ey
39. Clothing → T-shirts
040. Books → All the Harry Potters
041. Musics → Any non-noisy song??
Flower → I like, erm, most flowers which are nice to look at.
043. Colors → Blue, red, purple. Waaah.
044. Movies → Hancock, Definitely Maybe, Harold and Kumar :D
045. Positions → erm, striker or goalkeeper??
046. Subjects → Physics

047. [ ] kissed in the snow
048. [ ] celebrated Halloween
049. [ ] had your heart broken
050. [x] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [ ] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [ ] came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ] had an abortion
055. [x] done something you've regretted
056. [x] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [x] pretended to be sick
061. [x] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [x] ran a mile
065. [x] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [haha duh] stay single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → nothing
068. Drinking → nothing
069. I'm about to → either sleep or watch tv
070. Listening to → Decode - paramoe
071. Plans for today → find fun things to do
072. Waiting for → a miracle

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → Yep
074. Want to get married? → Yes
075. Careers in mind → Erm, come to think of it, nothing.
076. Lips or eyes → eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → shorter than me
078. Romantic or spontaneous → a little of both?
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → I dun care. Both can, neither oso can.
080. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive
081. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → Trouble-Maker

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → yes
084. Ran away from home → no
085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → hope to someday
086. Killed somebody → no
087. Broken someone's heart → I dnno, i hope not
088. Been arrested → no
089. Cried when someone died → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → I do, but i wish i did more of it
091. Miracles → haha yes!
092. Love at first sight → nope. i think its impossible. maybe im wrong :p
093. Heaven → Of course
094. Santa Claus → haha no.
095. Sex on the first date → If i can even get a date, no.
096. Kiss on the first date → noooo

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → not really
099. Do you believe in God → Yes.
100. This is the 100th and last.

Ahh. what a good way to start a blog. saves me all the trouble of introducing myself. well, i guess i want to sleep now. cya!

First Ever Post

2009-01-23T02:10:00.000-08:00

haha test test only. nothing much going on as of now except for me trying freakishly hard to set up this blog.